Post Heroes church camp @Legends Hotel KL 11-14 June 09,
CL/UL James asks or challenged us to write down our faith challenge for CG.
on 19 June CG time, remembered this that God impressed upon me during prayer time with SZ for the CG. (indeed God reveals things to us when we pray or seek Him, as always).
Hence below is my action step or faith challenge in accordance to the calling which he has assured me (kind of).
If you love me,
Feed my lambs,
Take care of my sheep
Feed my sheeep
taken from the below verse.
John 21: 15-17
15When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?"
"Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."
16Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?"
He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."
17 The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?"
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Feed my sheep.
In Summary: Love God, Love people
Still lots area or room to grow in in Loving people more. and by my own self, i am unable to love people fully or as perfectly as God does, but only with His love in me, i can be the channel of His love and try to love as He does.
Challence area this year as tested: loving people who are different (in personality), has behavioural pattern that is not so enticing or takes more strenght to enjoy, sacrificing time and more energy etc. travelling further, praying for them etc.
Other objective met/take homes fr camp:
1) Intimacy with God increase
2) Fellowship/bonding with CG breakthrough
3) COURAGE
4) INTEGRITY
5) (Focus)
6) Assurance of his calling in area of serving Him
7) something seems to be happening & 1.5 answered prayer showed
8)
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Dor blg 17 May 06 (My DREAM Life)
Found this old draft blog in my email...
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My DREAM Life
Yesterday someone asked me what my dream life like.
Realised my dream life has been so 'put aside' that I couldn't come out with much, except for some beautiful/tranquil images or scenery that I've had
I've laid aside some past dreams and wishes.. Haha. (after realising some are unaccomplishble or hard to - coz need a lot a lot of $$$; or after coming to know God - putting God's agenda first)
But I think now, God is good and will make some come true.
My dream life is to travel to places to see and enjoy beautiful sceneries of lakes, valleyas, mountains, canyons, waterfalls..
This is travelling, but I've never really thought of where I would want to stay. There would be trees, woods, park....
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My DREAM Life
Yesterday someone asked me what my dream life like.
Realised my dream life has been so 'put aside' that I couldn't come out with much, except for some beautiful/tranquil images or scenery that I've had
I've laid aside some past dreams and wishes.. Haha. (after realising some are unaccomplishble or hard to - coz need a lot a lot of $$$; or after coming to know God - putting God's agenda first)
But I think now, God is good and will make some come true.
My dream life is to travel to places to see and enjoy beautiful sceneries of lakes, valleyas, mountains, canyons, waterfalls..
This is travelling, but I've never really thought of where I would want to stay. There would be trees, woods, park....
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Monday, March 30, 2009
..To what I meant them to BE
Recently i became so disappointed dsicouraged or down that I actually cried when i thought or realized how far or totally I am from where I thought God destined me to do.. (i thought perhaps i was having PMS for getting so emotional..hmm, but not really i supposed due to the timing)
Felt totally useless and a total failure or CMI..
i thought i heard my ex-CL said indirectly (coz i didn't hear properly) that i don't have the heart of discipleship or pastoral care..vs outreach..(??)
That puzzled me.. and if it's true it saddened me..
(and of course i should find out humbly and to want to grow in the areas where I am weak at).
Talking about weakness, never had i felt so helpless, lousy and terrible..and a FAILURE.. incompetence, ineffective.
fr what I was trying to accomplish or nobly striving towards to i thought..
But God taught me fr Paul in 12 Corinthians 2:9-10
(New International Version)
9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
(New King James Version)
10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
(The Message):
My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (Amplified Bible)
9But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and [a]show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may [b]pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!
10So for the sake of Christ, I am well pleased and take pleasure in infirmities, insults, hardships, persecutions, perplexities and distresses; for when I am weak [[c]in human strength], then am I [truly] strong (able, powerful [d]in divine strength).
(New American Standard Bible)
10Therefore (C)I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with (D)distresses, with (E)persecutions, with (F)difficulties, (G)for Christ's sake; for (H)when I am weak, then I am strong.
DEATH of a Vision as Os Hillman puts it?
And as what Os Hillman wrote, before the fulfillment of a great vision, it usually comes with a Death..of the vision.. (e.g Joshua, moses, Jesus's disciples..)
The reason..(?) so thatwhen the Vision come to past.. it will clearly and wonderfully show th glory of God.. (?)
- can't remember exactly or understood that.
Anyway, i thought of when i thought i heard God told me to 'lead the group', i thought He must be kidding when i look at my terrible/unfavourable state.
And i half laughed in disbelief and asked God 'lead them where'?
And God says "to where/what I meant them to be.."
And I also realized/dawned upon me again a few days later that God is interested in what you have BEcome of, rather than DOing/Did. That's why He said 'Be' rather than 'Do'.
Felt totally useless and a total failure or CMI..
i thought i heard my ex-CL said indirectly (coz i didn't hear properly) that i don't have the heart of discipleship or pastoral care..vs outreach..(??)
That puzzled me.. and if it's true it saddened me..
(and of course i should find out humbly and to want to grow in the areas where I am weak at).
Talking about weakness, never had i felt so helpless, lousy and terrible..and a FAILURE.. incompetence, ineffective.
fr what I was trying to accomplish or nobly striving towards to i thought..
But God taught me fr Paul in 12 Corinthians 2:9-10
(New International Version)
9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
(New King James Version)
10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
(The Message):
My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (Amplified Bible)
9But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and [a]show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may [b]pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!
10So for the sake of Christ, I am well pleased and take pleasure in infirmities, insults, hardships, persecutions, perplexities and distresses; for when I am weak [[c]in human strength], then am I [truly] strong (able, powerful [d]in divine strength).
(New American Standard Bible)
10Therefore (C)I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with (D)distresses, with (E)persecutions, with (F)difficulties, (G)for Christ's sake; for (H)when I am weak, then I am strong.
DEATH of a Vision as Os Hillman puts it?
And as what Os Hillman wrote, before the fulfillment of a great vision, it usually comes with a Death..of the vision.. (e.g Joshua, moses, Jesus's disciples..)
The reason..(?) so thatwhen the Vision come to past.. it will clearly and wonderfully show th glory of God.. (?)
- can't remember exactly or understood that.
Anyway, i thought of when i thought i heard God told me to 'lead the group', i thought He must be kidding when i look at my terrible/unfavourable state.
And i half laughed in disbelief and asked God 'lead them where'?
And God says "to where/what I meant them to be.."
And I also realized/dawned upon me again a few days later that God is interested in what you have BEcome of, rather than DOing/Did. That's why He said 'Be' rather than 'Do'.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Jesus the good Shepherd - an Escape with Jesus during the fearful wisdom tooth surgery (2.2.09)
I went to Mahkota Medical Centre (in Malacca) to have my wisdom tooth removed by the experienced and trusted Dr. Leong See Yin (a Christian too).
During the surgery, i meditated on Psalm 23.
Image of Jesus appeared,
And i heard
"Look at the Stars.."
And i was taken on a journey to the galaxy..
visited Mars,
Neptune (but too hot to go..?)
also went on a 'spaceship'..
then went Underwater..'Tioman' to see fishes and corals..
Because of that, I managed to stay still..and not focus my mind on the drillings, pulling, cracking etc. that's going on.. even the blood smell..
It was like Jesus comforting me and taking care of me like a child..
bringing me to see wondorous things that I liked.. to bring my mind off the surgery..
Left side surgery:
Had conversations with God instead..as knew what to expect hence less 'scary'..
Ask God/Jesus questions too.
Finally it was over..
God in the beginning assured me to removed all 4. And I am glad I did, as save all the hassle (of taking leave or planning for one, travel, making appointments, taking x-ray, taking anti-biotics, needing porridge/soft food, and taking more MCs..)
I was also commended for my faith, courage by others, and being 'the brave one that removed all 4' by the dentist.. whoho..
Thanks, all posssible becoz of JESUS!
(although it took me bout 2 weeks or more to recover..) :)
During the surgery, i meditated on Psalm 23.
Image of Jesus appeared,
And i heard
"Look at the Stars.."
And i was taken on a journey to the galaxy..
visited Mars,
Neptune (but too hot to go..?)
also went on a 'spaceship'..
then went Underwater..'Tioman' to see fishes and corals..
Because of that, I managed to stay still..and not focus my mind on the drillings, pulling, cracking etc. that's going on.. even the blood smell..
It was like Jesus comforting me and taking care of me like a child..
bringing me to see wondorous things that I liked.. to bring my mind off the surgery..
Left side surgery:
Had conversations with God instead..as knew what to expect hence less 'scary'..
Ask God/Jesus questions too.
Finally it was over..
God in the beginning assured me to removed all 4. And I am glad I did, as save all the hassle (of taking leave or planning for one, travel, making appointments, taking x-ray, taking anti-biotics, needing porridge/soft food, and taking more MCs..)
I was also commended for my faith, courage by others, and being 'the brave one that removed all 4' by the dentist.. whoho..
Thanks, all posssible becoz of JESUS!
(although it took me bout 2 weeks or more to recover..) :)
Thursday, January 15, 2009
The Removal of False Securities through the 'Shepherd' change affair..
Recently God allowed me to confront a circumstance that revealed that I placed my aconfidence or security in another wrong place: Sprituality, how well I've grown, and how people viewed me etc.
Other places of security may be financial income, job status, relationships (having a bf/gf), looking good etc. these are not wrong things but placing our security in them is bound to set us to disappointment coz neither of them last. Rather it should be on God, Jesus the Rock alone..who is eternal, unchanging, powerful and mighty..
It was through a Shepherding change that didn't fall through as planned..
and my Unit leader suddenly told me the because if that, he thinks that another choice would suit me..Lo and behold..
a 'younger' sister both by spiritual age and age was named. Though she is serving as a leader now, She was like the New believer that my CG harvested previously (of course that was some years back already, and people do grow through different seasons of time & opportunities, and at different pace too) and i have always related to her as the 'younger' sister to look after or encourage.
I had a hard time reconciling the fact that it would be kindof 'switched' around. Coz i have not have a wider mindset of a shepherd & sheep relationship where there also could be peer mentorship. I still can't imagine or comprehend it.
Thanks to my current/or rather ex-shepherd,
She challenged me to ask/question myself
1)Why do you want to grow/develop yourself, etc. (and fast)
2)Why am I feeling this way..
Q1) half of me thinks for the noble..
Q2) And through the thinking, i realized that I was upset because.........
When i asked God about the shepherd assignment,
Jesus said: "Oh well" and smiled..
Still wanted to bargain with God.
But after i was back to SG after CNY, before I could reply my leader, he msged to tell me he has decided back on my original shepheard. Whom I finally met on the faithful 15 Feb 09!
Of course I was extremely delighted to hear the news when I first heard it. And what a relieved and thanking God.. haha.
Thinking back, it is a COMPLETE DUHH.. situation.
After being tossed forth and back.
Yes, No, Yes, No and then finally now Yes..
But i really thank God for this incident which gave me the opportunity to confront a False security or wrong place where i had put my confidence in..
GOd is wise and good!
My confidence & Trust shall be in the Lord..
Verses: ............
Other places of security may be financial income, job status, relationships (having a bf/gf), looking good etc. these are not wrong things but placing our security in them is bound to set us to disappointment coz neither of them last. Rather it should be on God, Jesus the Rock alone..who is eternal, unchanging, powerful and mighty..
It was through a Shepherding change that didn't fall through as planned..
and my Unit leader suddenly told me the because if that, he thinks that another choice would suit me..Lo and behold..
a 'younger' sister both by spiritual age and age was named. Though she is serving as a leader now, She was like the New believer that my CG harvested previously (of course that was some years back already, and people do grow through different seasons of time & opportunities, and at different pace too) and i have always related to her as the 'younger' sister to look after or encourage.
I had a hard time reconciling the fact that it would be kindof 'switched' around. Coz i have not have a wider mindset of a shepherd & sheep relationship where there also could be peer mentorship. I still can't imagine or comprehend it.
Thanks to my current/or rather ex-shepherd,
She challenged me to ask/question myself
1)Why do you want to grow/develop yourself, etc. (and fast)
2)Why am I feeling this way..
Q1) half of me thinks for the noble..
Q2) And through the thinking, i realized that I was upset because.........
When i asked God about the shepherd assignment,
Jesus said: "Oh well" and smiled..
Still wanted to bargain with God.
But after i was back to SG after CNY, before I could reply my leader, he msged to tell me he has decided back on my original shepheard. Whom I finally met on the faithful 15 Feb 09!
Of course I was extremely delighted to hear the news when I first heard it. And what a relieved and thanking God.. haha.
Thinking back, it is a COMPLETE DUHH.. situation.
After being tossed forth and back.
Yes, No, Yes, No and then finally now Yes..
But i really thank God for this incident which gave me the opportunity to confront a False security or wrong place where i had put my confidence in..
GOd is wise and good!
My confidence & Trust shall be in the Lord..
Verses: ............
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Farewell to 2008 and Slide straight into 2009
Time waits for no man... In a blink of an eye, and getting busy, it's soon mid Jan. (and now it's Feb). In a while's time we ith all the busyness and timelines, it'll be March!!
2008 Reflection- Painful but will a beautiful mid and end.
Most goals achieved somewhat..
List:
...
...
...
...
But mostly, it ended so beautifully that i missed/felt sad that 2008 was coming to an end towards the last days.. and was trying to savour the last moments of it.
I felt free/freed or a sense of freedom. somewhat and joyful & happy..
it was after a myriad of disapointments, hurts or entanglements of the heart. And even confusion of hearing God's voice and re-concilling turn of events.
But they were short-lived as I learnt to trust in God......
(Work wise also ended great with good appraisals)
Summary/highlights of 2008:
Thank God for:
1) the overseas travels made possible by god to Sydney, Melbourne, Switzerland, Hungary, and of course Sweden, family trip to Penang, more trips home due to Biz trips to KL several times.
2) Healing of heart during FOP (Festival of Praise Aug 08') in National Indoor stadium where Jesus asked me to focus, look to Him, that He will heal me, and He appeared to me - and my heart's burden lifted after that.
3) Healing of medical problem.
4) Work - Helps God has evidently given or brought me through.. resulting in Awards (Bravo) and good feedabcks on job performance. How God also delivered me from difficult situations by turn of events..
5)...
...
2008 Reflection- Painful but will a beautiful mid and end.
Most goals achieved somewhat..
List:
...
...
...
...
But mostly, it ended so beautifully that i missed/felt sad that 2008 was coming to an end towards the last days.. and was trying to savour the last moments of it.
I felt free/freed or a sense of freedom. somewhat and joyful & happy..
it was after a myriad of disapointments, hurts or entanglements of the heart. And even confusion of hearing God's voice and re-concilling turn of events.
But they were short-lived as I learnt to trust in God......
(Work wise also ended great with good appraisals)
Summary/highlights of 2008:
Thank God for:
1) the overseas travels made possible by god to Sydney, Melbourne, Switzerland, Hungary, and of course Sweden, family trip to Penang, more trips home due to Biz trips to KL several times.
2) Healing of heart during FOP (Festival of Praise Aug 08') in National Indoor stadium where Jesus asked me to focus, look to Him, that He will heal me, and He appeared to me - and my heart's burden lifted after that.
3) Healing of medical problem.
4) Work - Helps God has evidently given or brought me through.. resulting in Awards (Bravo) and good feedabcks on job performance. How God also delivered me from difficult situations by turn of events..
5)...
...
The 'dangerous' 'Mould Me' song/prayer again..
A Testing and opportunity of moulding came immediately in a situation that would blow me off balance on the very last Sunday itself!!
And realized that I just sang the below 2 songs/echoed the "mould me" words in my heart, an indirect form of prayer and wilingness to let God make me a better/the kind of person He has meant me to be - to be like Him.. over the weekend..(Sat & Sun). Wahaha.
Btw, the below song I just love/i can't stop singing over and over..(Not sure of the title). I was reminded of this song after i was pondering over the 'unfavourable circustance that would befall me'.. and realized that God is indeed moulding me..
-------------------------
Here I stand
Desperate for You
Here I stand
A vessel You
Let my life be Your clay
Mould me in Your ways
Here I stand
Desperate for You
Here I stand
A vessel You
Let my life sing your praise
Bring Honor to Your Name
(song fr CHC)
-------------------------------------------
On the Sunday itself,
The church would also sing 'Beautiful Savior'
Which was the very song that i sang last time (at CG - where i felt another moulding opportunity/testing came my way pretty soon)..
The lyrics/chorus:
"Mould me..Make me
Use me walk beside me
I give my life to the potter's hand"
And realized that I just sang the below 2 songs/echoed the "mould me" words in my heart, an indirect form of prayer and wilingness to let God make me a better/the kind of person He has meant me to be - to be like Him.. over the weekend..(Sat & Sun). Wahaha.
Btw, the below song I just love/i can't stop singing over and over..(Not sure of the title). I was reminded of this song after i was pondering over the 'unfavourable circustance that would befall me'.. and realized that God is indeed moulding me..
-------------------------
Here I stand
Desperate for You
Here I stand
A vessel You
Let my life be Your clay
Mould me in Your ways
Here I stand
Desperate for You
Here I stand
A vessel You
Let my life sing your praise
Bring Honor to Your Name
(song fr CHC)
-------------------------------------------
On the Sunday itself,
The church would also sing 'Beautiful Savior'
Which was the very song that i sang last time (at CG - where i felt another moulding opportunity/testing came my way pretty soon)..
The lyrics/chorus:
"Mould me..Make me
Use me walk beside me
I give my life to the potter's hand"
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