Monday, March 30, 2009
..To what I meant them to BE
Recently i became so disappointed dsicouraged or down that I actually cried when i thought or realized how far or totally I am from where I thought God destined me to do.. (i thought perhaps i was having PMS for getting so emotional..hmm, but not really i supposed due to the timing)
Felt totally useless and a total failure or CMI..
i thought i heard my ex-CL said indirectly (coz i didn't hear properly) that i don't have the heart of discipleship or pastoral care..vs outreach..(??)
That puzzled me.. and if it's true it saddened me..
(and of course i should find out humbly and to want to grow in the areas where I am weak at).
Talking about weakness, never had i felt so helpless, lousy and terrible..and a FAILURE.. incompetence, ineffective.
fr what I was trying to accomplish or nobly striving towards to i thought..
But God taught me fr Paul in 12 Corinthians 2:9-10
(New International Version)
9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
(New King James Version)
10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
(The Message):
My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (Amplified Bible)
9But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and [a]show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may [b]pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!
10So for the sake of Christ, I am well pleased and take pleasure in infirmities, insults, hardships, persecutions, perplexities and distresses; for when I am weak [[c]in human strength], then am I [truly] strong (able, powerful [d]in divine strength).
(New American Standard Bible)
10Therefore (C)I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with (D)distresses, with (E)persecutions, with (F)difficulties, (G)for Christ's sake; for (H)when I am weak, then I am strong.
DEATH of a Vision as Os Hillman puts it?
And as what Os Hillman wrote, before the fulfillment of a great vision, it usually comes with a Death..of the vision.. (e.g Joshua, moses, Jesus's disciples..)
The reason..(?) so thatwhen the Vision come to past.. it will clearly and wonderfully show th glory of God.. (?)
- can't remember exactly or understood that.
Anyway, i thought of when i thought i heard God told me to 'lead the group', i thought He must be kidding when i look at my terrible/unfavourable state.
And i half laughed in disbelief and asked God 'lead them where'?
And God says "to where/what I meant them to be.."
And I also realized/dawned upon me again a few days later that God is interested in what you have BEcome of, rather than DOing/Did. That's why He said 'Be' rather than 'Do'.
Felt totally useless and a total failure or CMI..
i thought i heard my ex-CL said indirectly (coz i didn't hear properly) that i don't have the heart of discipleship or pastoral care..vs outreach..(??)
That puzzled me.. and if it's true it saddened me..
(and of course i should find out humbly and to want to grow in the areas where I am weak at).
Talking about weakness, never had i felt so helpless, lousy and terrible..and a FAILURE.. incompetence, ineffective.
fr what I was trying to accomplish or nobly striving towards to i thought..
But God taught me fr Paul in 12 Corinthians 2:9-10
(New International Version)
9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
(New King James Version)
10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
(The Message):
My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (Amplified Bible)
9But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and [a]show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may [b]pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!
10So for the sake of Christ, I am well pleased and take pleasure in infirmities, insults, hardships, persecutions, perplexities and distresses; for when I am weak [[c]in human strength], then am I [truly] strong (able, powerful [d]in divine strength).
(New American Standard Bible)
10Therefore (C)I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with (D)distresses, with (E)persecutions, with (F)difficulties, (G)for Christ's sake; for (H)when I am weak, then I am strong.
DEATH of a Vision as Os Hillman puts it?
And as what Os Hillman wrote, before the fulfillment of a great vision, it usually comes with a Death..of the vision.. (e.g Joshua, moses, Jesus's disciples..)
The reason..(?) so thatwhen the Vision come to past.. it will clearly and wonderfully show th glory of God.. (?)
- can't remember exactly or understood that.
Anyway, i thought of when i thought i heard God told me to 'lead the group', i thought He must be kidding when i look at my terrible/unfavourable state.
And i half laughed in disbelief and asked God 'lead them where'?
And God says "to where/what I meant them to be.."
And I also realized/dawned upon me again a few days later that God is interested in what you have BEcome of, rather than DOing/Did. That's why He said 'Be' rather than 'Do'.
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