How to proclaim the goodness of God in the face of continual disappointment and discouragement.
That was what I initially wanted to write about.
But as days goes by, I got more and more insights into my situation, like there's so many perspective to see what have been happening to me with God.
It's about Trusting God. Placing my trust in Him.
Surrendering un-surrendered areas in my life to Him.
Re-Placing my security in Him.
My story:
My Spiritual life in-retrospect. (End Q3 2005 - end Q3 2006)
From last year, there were many happenings, struggles, challenges in my life then ever before. So many ups and downs. In fact, more downs than ups. (meaning the Ups going to come! Haha!)
Been looking back at my blogs too for the entire year.
I didn't really realize until recently, more of after last week Sun- sermon on Spiritual Breakthroughs (24 Sep 06), and something that happened at night.
That I've lost focus.
God also used my CL and Shepherd spoke to me about me loosing/lost focus.
Yes, I do not deny that.
Yet this blog or awakening is Not about losing focus. In fact, loosing focus is/was the outcome of my respond to situations/circumstances and God.
Realised that I've lost focus on: Reaching out, Discipling others.
Though God did speak to me once during CG around Aug/Sep 06 - about my purpose in impacting people's life, in my sphere of influence, and particularly the CG.
(Partially realising that I've been busy doing other things but that actively.)
WHAT HAPPENED?
My relationship with God
Realised last Sunday that there was a huge unresolved issue between me and God. Issue of Trust and His goodness. Stems from hidden, buried or accumulated disappointments and discouragement with God that I've been facing.
There grew a barrier/wall between us and our communication.
(And me being the avoider rather than active confronter to reconcile the issue or knock it down)
That unknowingly, I've stopped talking to God much, or deep.
And how it affected my spiritual life.. (And there on)..
Ignoring this unsettled issue with God, I lost connection (being in the vine) with Him more and more. Though I've tried to read the bible. Or pray. Or fasted and pray! (tried)
But my prayer life has fizzled. Not that I had a strong or vibrant prayer life before hand!
But it got worst. I doubted that my prayers will be answered even, since He had been inconsistent in answering my prayers, or didn't answer at all.
I doubted His love and goodness to me. Doubted that He really cared. Circumstances in my own eyes and unfulfilled self-expectations showed me to be so.
Outcome: Gradual lost of focus and fervour/zeal.
So when your relationship with God or someone is not on good terms, you naturally won't be talking to the person much nor doing things for them, or with them, not to mention with zeal or fervour.
I can't or don't even feel like praying. My heart was heavy. Not to mention praying.
-One Sunday (2-3 weeks back), at Sunday Praise & worship time in church, I was reminded of His love for me, the ultimate one was already shown by dying on the cross for my sins to give me Life.
So if God loved me to that extend, what are the other things I thought He didn't do for me compared to that. So He loves me.
-While practising for the church Anniversary choir also the week before 16 Sep 06, we were rehearsing the song "You Are Good" by Israel Houghton.
While singing it half way, I realise I couldn't sing it with conviction, that He is good.
But the other songs esp. 'You Are Holy' I could worship/sing.. Those are the areas of God that I can't deny..not to mention deny that He is God.
to be cont'
Getting back on terms with God
Renewed perspective of God's goodness:
God's work in me:
BREAKTHROUGHS..
Friday, September 29, 2006
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
God's goodness: Lorna & Jamie's testimony.
below is a testimony forwarded by my bro to me today.
They are my cousin (Lorna) & cousin-in law (who moved/migrated to Australia after getting married). Not only is it warm to see them praying together as a couple, experiencing God's goodness and finding a house to settle there, plus sharing this wonderful testimony about God to family & friends,
reading about God's goodness again touched me. and I wanted to blog about this too.
Recently back, reading on some testimony about God's goodness in someone elses life made me broke down in tears. I would recall during my birhtday this year. coz i did not see those blessings happening in my own life. Small, simple and Sincere and genuine things that i prayed, asked God for did not happen. Nor bigger things that mattered to me.
On other times, reading on other testimonies would sometimes make me smile, or inspired.
I hope to be writting soon about what i've learnt, or am learning, to see God's character, His goodness in a new way.
:)
How do you continue to say that "God is good" and live out "just fix your eyes on Him and call on Him in times of need and He will answer your call with grace and love" as mentioned by my cousins - when seemingly, intermittently, occasionally or continually, your cries of prayer or desperation to God produce no results or no change in circumstance, or bad/worst situations?
How to proclaim "God is good" in the face of continual disappointment and discouragement.
(hopefully coming soon).
-------------------------------------------------------
Subject: A Testimony of How our New Home was Preserved for US
Dear Family and Friends,
This will be a short mail to share with you of God's goodness in our lives. Of course there are zillions of things to share but this one really stands out.
As some of you may know, we recently bought our first home and it was a very stretching experience. You see, we first saw this new development called the Waverly Park Drive when were were driving past it in our friend's car. According to our friend, it's a very costly development and naturally we didn't even think that it was anywhere near our budget.
But as time went on and when we had moved into our current rented home, the prompting to check out this property became stronger and stronger. We decided to check it out and went to the sales centre to enquire. There we saw the floor plans of different homes and went to the four display homes they displayed. We fell in love with the place instantaneously and wished above all that we would be able to afford the place.
Shortly after that we met up with a financial consultant introduced to us by the sales consultant, and he was very helpful to shed light to our financial situation and affordability. Although he gave us good news, we were still very doubtful that we can afford the monthly repayment.
So a few months came and went, we let the new launch go because we were no where ready to invest. Our finances was just not enough. But we prayed.... and prayed... and prayed.
Our lease was going to expire next March and we either have to buy a new place or continue the lease for another year. Our Sales Consultant went on a holiday and we were due to visit him again after his return. He was quick to write to us when he came back and we went quickly to see the new release.
To summerise it abit, we found a house that has four bedrooms (3 upstairs and 1 bedroom downstairs). In the entire floor plans for this development, only ours has a room downstairs. And because it has a room downstairs, it also has a bathroom downstairs (not just a toilet), so that after a sweaty day playing, our kids (speaking into the future) will be able to wash up before running upstairs and dirtying the carpet. If our folks come to visit and stay for a longer period and didn't want to climb stairs, they could also stay in the downstairs guest room.
So again we checked out all the floor plans, viewed the display homes and met with our financial consultant again. We went through the entire process and it was quite intensed. During this time, we scraped on every penny we could find, transferring funds from overseas and basically prayed and prayed alot. We claimed the home and dedicated it to God, as if it had already happened, and proclaimed that it will be the home where we will also dedicate our children to Him.
Slowly we began to see things happened. Tax refund from the government, unexpected calls from family members, friends who were willing to help and all of a sudden it seemed possible. We started to negotiate with our sales consultant and he began to reply to our request. So we got quite a few essential things thrown in with the house. Like a security door, flood lights with sensor, alarm system, and many other small but essential details.
Between Jamie and I, we spent time in our small little hall praying for this house. We knew we didnt have alot between us, but we worked out our repayment and it was doable. I spoke with my mom, Eileen, and she encouraged us to "Just Do It", because if we didnt, we will never have the courage to take the first step.
So we did as she told us to, commited it to God, and slowly began to withdraw cash from our account to put in a $5K deposit, with a 10% outstanding deposit to be cleared in 15 days time. Each step of the way, God was with us, and He guided us to put in the deposit at the exact time that would secure us the house.
What we didn't know is that there were two other couples also deciding on the house and they were cash rich. They didn't have to worry about finances as how we did, they could easily put in the deposit and then decide. But somehow, there was confusion between their family members and they took some time to decide.
We went to see our sales consultant on the 31st August 2006 (Malaysian National Day) and there we sat for hours going through the details of the floor plan, colour scheme, tiles and carpet, and every small details we could think of. On that day we put in our deposit, and finally we could call ourselves new home owners. Of course our home would only be ready next April (end) but we're looking forward to it.
Just take time to look at how Good God has been to us. He caused the couples to be undecided so that we could put in our deposit on a Thursay night (we left the sales centre at about 9.00pm, we were starving by then). Now this is the thing that blew us away....
The very next day, the couple went to the Sales Centre EARLY in the morning with the deposit to buy the exact same house that we had just bought. There are 9 sales consultants in total, and because our sales consultant had ended with us so late the night before, he took our contract home, with the intentions to bring it to head office the next day. So the other consultants who were attending to the couple COULD NOT find the contract at all. The finally called our sales consultant and he informed them that he had already sold it to US, the night before.
AMAZING GOD, how good you are! We were only a couple of hours apart and we bought the house while they missed out. And the next thing that blew us away is that there will be no other new releases this year (2006) and for a similar design, they would have to wait for next year's release (2007) which means higher purchase price and higher interest rates!
How GREAT is our God! If He didn't guide us the way we did, we would have been caught in the same situation and the couple and worse, we would have had to extend our tenancy agreement for another year. We were so flabbergasted when we heard this story from our sales consultant, that we just stood in awe for a few moments, at how close we were, and how good God is, to protect His own and bless His children.
I just want you to know that no matter what circumstance you're going through, just fix your eyes on Him and call on Him in times of need and He will answer your call with grace and love. This is not a testimony of healing or salvation, but just to share with you of the goodness of God in our lives.
Because He had provided for us, we can also provide for you. Come visit us next year and check out our new nest...
Love you all.
Jamie and Lorna
----------------------------------------------------------
hah, and at least now I would have a place to stay if I go to Australia in the future! haha.
They are my cousin (Lorna) & cousin-in law (who moved/migrated to Australia after getting married). Not only is it warm to see them praying together as a couple, experiencing God's goodness and finding a house to settle there, plus sharing this wonderful testimony about God to family & friends,
reading about God's goodness again touched me. and I wanted to blog about this too.
Recently back, reading on some testimony about God's goodness in someone elses life made me broke down in tears. I would recall during my birhtday this year. coz i did not see those blessings happening in my own life. Small, simple and Sincere and genuine things that i prayed, asked God for did not happen. Nor bigger things that mattered to me.
On other times, reading on other testimonies would sometimes make me smile, or inspired.
I hope to be writting soon about what i've learnt, or am learning, to see God's character, His goodness in a new way.
:)
How do you continue to say that "God is good" and live out "just fix your eyes on Him and call on Him in times of need and He will answer your call with grace and love" as mentioned by my cousins - when seemingly, intermittently, occasionally or continually, your cries of prayer or desperation to God produce no results or no change in circumstance, or bad/worst situations?
How to proclaim "God is good" in the face of continual disappointment and discouragement.
(hopefully coming soon).
-------------------------------------------------------
Subject: A Testimony of How our New Home was Preserved for US
Dear Family and Friends,
This will be a short mail to share with you of God's goodness in our lives. Of course there are zillions of things to share but this one really stands out.
As some of you may know, we recently bought our first home and it was a very stretching experience. You see, we first saw this new development called the Waverly Park Drive when were were driving past it in our friend's car. According to our friend, it's a very costly development and naturally we didn't even think that it was anywhere near our budget.
But as time went on and when we had moved into our current rented home, the prompting to check out this property became stronger and stronger. We decided to check it out and went to the sales centre to enquire. There we saw the floor plans of different homes and went to the four display homes they displayed. We fell in love with the place instantaneously and wished above all that we would be able to afford the place.
Shortly after that we met up with a financial consultant introduced to us by the sales consultant, and he was very helpful to shed light to our financial situation and affordability. Although he gave us good news, we were still very doubtful that we can afford the monthly repayment.
So a few months came and went, we let the new launch go because we were no where ready to invest. Our finances was just not enough. But we prayed.... and prayed... and prayed.
Our lease was going to expire next March and we either have to buy a new place or continue the lease for another year. Our Sales Consultant went on a holiday and we were due to visit him again after his return. He was quick to write to us when he came back and we went quickly to see the new release.
To summerise it abit, we found a house that has four bedrooms (3 upstairs and 1 bedroom downstairs). In the entire floor plans for this development, only ours has a room downstairs. And because it has a room downstairs, it also has a bathroom downstairs (not just a toilet), so that after a sweaty day playing, our kids (speaking into the future) will be able to wash up before running upstairs and dirtying the carpet. If our folks come to visit and stay for a longer period and didn't want to climb stairs, they could also stay in the downstairs guest room.
So again we checked out all the floor plans, viewed the display homes and met with our financial consultant again. We went through the entire process and it was quite intensed. During this time, we scraped on every penny we could find, transferring funds from overseas and basically prayed and prayed alot. We claimed the home and dedicated it to God, as if it had already happened, and proclaimed that it will be the home where we will also dedicate our children to Him.
Slowly we began to see things happened. Tax refund from the government, unexpected calls from family members, friends who were willing to help and all of a sudden it seemed possible. We started to negotiate with our sales consultant and he began to reply to our request. So we got quite a few essential things thrown in with the house. Like a security door, flood lights with sensor, alarm system, and many other small but essential details.
Between Jamie and I, we spent time in our small little hall praying for this house. We knew we didnt have alot between us, but we worked out our repayment and it was doable. I spoke with my mom, Eileen, and she encouraged us to "Just Do It", because if we didnt, we will never have the courage to take the first step.
So we did as she told us to, commited it to God, and slowly began to withdraw cash from our account to put in a $5K deposit, with a 10% outstanding deposit to be cleared in 15 days time. Each step of the way, God was with us, and He guided us to put in the deposit at the exact time that would secure us the house.
What we didn't know is that there were two other couples also deciding on the house and they were cash rich. They didn't have to worry about finances as how we did, they could easily put in the deposit and then decide. But somehow, there was confusion between their family members and they took some time to decide.
We went to see our sales consultant on the 31st August 2006 (Malaysian National Day) and there we sat for hours going through the details of the floor plan, colour scheme, tiles and carpet, and every small details we could think of. On that day we put in our deposit, and finally we could call ourselves new home owners. Of course our home would only be ready next April (end) but we're looking forward to it.
Just take time to look at how Good God has been to us. He caused the couples to be undecided so that we could put in our deposit on a Thursay night (we left the sales centre at about 9.00pm, we were starving by then). Now this is the thing that blew us away....
The very next day, the couple went to the Sales Centre EARLY in the morning with the deposit to buy the exact same house that we had just bought. There are 9 sales consultants in total, and because our sales consultant had ended with us so late the night before, he took our contract home, with the intentions to bring it to head office the next day. So the other consultants who were attending to the couple COULD NOT find the contract at all. The finally called our sales consultant and he informed them that he had already sold it to US, the night before.
AMAZING GOD, how good you are! We were only a couple of hours apart and we bought the house while they missed out. And the next thing that blew us away is that there will be no other new releases this year (2006) and for a similar design, they would have to wait for next year's release (2007) which means higher purchase price and higher interest rates!
How GREAT is our God! If He didn't guide us the way we did, we would have been caught in the same situation and the couple and worse, we would have had to extend our tenancy agreement for another year. We were so flabbergasted when we heard this story from our sales consultant, that we just stood in awe for a few moments, at how close we were, and how good God is, to protect His own and bless His children.
I just want you to know that no matter what circumstance you're going through, just fix your eyes on Him and call on Him in times of need and He will answer your call with grace and love. This is not a testimony of healing or salvation, but just to share with you of the goodness of God in our lives.
Because He had provided for us, we can also provide for you. Come visit us next year and check out our new nest...
Love you all.
Jamie and Lorna
----------------------------------------------------------
hah, and at least now I would have a place to stay if I go to Australia in the future! haha.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
