Pressed but not crushed, Struck down but not destroyed (R&W)

Actually blogged this way back in end Jan, but have yet to blog it until end Mar. Lots of up and downs, victories & seemingly defeat, and testimonies to share bout God, but definitly my writings will not be able to contain them all, that is unless I'm a daily blogger. :P

This blog also serves as my journal to record my journey in life. Atleast excerpts & some milestones, before i forget them.
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Had a down start to the New Year 2008.
Right in early January, went through 2 downs in the 2 areas of my life (Relationship and Work) again.
Discontinued a relationship (1 week short of a 1 yr anniversary), and the day after, found my immediate boss shooting me down like a M16 on every single area of my new job performance during a evaluation debrief followed by the appraisal time. I thought those were training visits, but heck, i was evaluated even on my facial expression that i produced or back-fired by the question i asked my boss.?

(Duh..)
The technical stuffs alright i agree.
No doubt there are areas which i'm still learning on and to improve, and to speak, it was the first official feedback was given to me from the past 3 Co-visits at site, and it was during my appraisal. And they would argue they had feedbacked during the visits, but excuse me..No.
Had a meet-up with my bigger boss and he was more encouraging and supportive, though he speaks the same message - to buck up.

Many words were spoken for me to change - and supposed to be big words.
- Re-INVENT, SELF/SITUATIONAL AWARENESS besides INVESTing in yourself, THINK, in order to be effective and produce > RESULTS.

Time is the factor. Many things needs to be done at a short/limited time period.
Instead of minimising my time because i was handling few projects, i upped my time as generally we are encouraged to up your time billability to clients, which means revenue. But little did i realize I to do otherwise, overlooking the initial time budget - which sometimes practically doesn't match up to the real workload/task needed to be done.

However, i remembered God spoke to me 'FOCUS' when i was praying to him what/how to improve myself.
Well i was glad when another senior colleague told me the same thing, confirming it.
I definitly agree that my God knows me better than my boss, and myself.
haha. Praise be to God! A word from Heaven is worth more than a Million else where.

Lesson learnt: I realized that being encouraging (positive + negative) does more benefit to one than putting down (negative only).
Encountered with the 2 bosses (different style/way of communication)
and 2 CLs (feedback on my guitaring). It sure does make a hell lots of difference!


Recently, also found out that certain people cannot be 'trusted' with what they say to be the truth. And some people, which not uncommon, will twist and turn their words just to get what they want done. And i know it's not the real story. Some to make themself look good or knowleagable.
Just that i haven't encountered them for awhile already, and for the first time in 2 years plus. And that i didn't realize.

Anyway, not to blame them, the fallen world and human nature speaks for the many reason and motivation why certain people do or say what they do.


" I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes, and as innocent as doves" - Matthew 10:16

plus, last but not least,

"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed, perplexed, but not in despair, persecuted, but not adandoned; struck down but not destroyed" - 2 Corinthians 4:8-9



*Disclaimer: the story above reflects how i felt PERSONALLY in my own perception at the moment in time, and does not aim to critize any parties on the web.