Facing reality and bad situations
It's really difficult to blog with no ready internet access at home, or time to do it after work. hehe.

anyway, my one week plus ago had been..interesting..up and down situations, seeing myself going through the same external pressures and problems that i went through not too long ago. Work haywire (boss chasing after you to clarify wrong time billing calculation, relationship with sheep didn't go smooth (conflicted) and event (SubD Family Day games) responsibilities coming down..

Phew, was seeing these things coming down my way, and was asking myself what God wants me to grow in or respond differently this time?
The usual thing that i've used to do or think is to trust and continue to rely on Him in all that I have to do..

But there was something more difficult for me to do this time, and I realize God wants me to deal with facing difficult situations.. I didn't and don't like unpleasant situations and will tend to avoid it, if i can. But this time, whatever mistakes, bad situation i had to face, through my work-- i realize i had to do it still. I realize I have the fear of making the same mistakes and will avoid doing things because of the hurt and pain/unpleasantness that comes from it..

For example leading worship, serving.. I'll only do it again perhaps after a long long time,when i have no choice, or when i have gained more self- confidence that comes from safety of experience and assurance that things will work out or knowing I could more or less do it without failing..

There are many unpleasant family situations at home too that I hated and or don't like, and try to avoid by all means. That's why for the past few years, I am relieved and happy being away from home and free from confronting the troubles..But they'll still come and find or haunt me and sometimes i can't avoid..

Through the little experience at work where I have to continue tabulating the TAS despite of fear of having overlooking figures, being careless or making mistakes again.. i am force to do it and face it no matter what. And i thank God for this opportunity to realize and to grow in this area..

this time round.. i feel that i am stronger to face the coming problems, pressures and circumstances that comes my way..when things don't go right..

this time, things went right again.. coz God is good and because I trusted in Him.

Praise the Lord oh my soul!!