No not the 3M Innovation company.
I've re-named it Missionaries, their ministries & marriages.
Was reading biography of William Carey termed 'Father of Modern Missions' who initiated he first Protestant Missions arm through his firwst writing ' An Enquiry To The Obligations of Christians in Using Means for the Conversion of Heathens'. His life, work and humble example resulted in advancement in missionary work in many continents elsewhere which accomplishments outweighs and exceeds his own in India.
And halfway reading through (Last week, now done) J. Hudson Taylor's life embarking on mission to China, Inland China..
Both didn't potray good, easy, smooth and luxurious life, but suffered hardship, ill-living conditions, 2 dead children (William Carey) a deranged wife, death wives (2 death wives for William Carey), ministry conflicts and financial hardship.
...The reality of life.
There was also Jim Elliot, the young martyr together with 4 others which approached the Equadorian hostile Auca tribe with the gospel.
All risks their lives for the sake of doing God's will and bringing the gospel to all tribe, nation and toungue. Although they died, but his wife (Elizabeth Elliot) and the other martyr's wife Rachel Saint successfully brought in the gospel to this virgin tribe.
Reading the stories of these people and the turn around and outcome of their lives, my view and the fact about God is good (previous week’s CG teaching) was challenged.
Doubts about God’s goodness crept in ..
What we do not know from the factual and biographies of those person are their personal prayers and relationship with God.
'you do not know what i've spoken or my relationship with them behind the books you read..'
that's what God spoke to my heart when i seeked Him concerning my wavered heart and mind concerning His character of goodness..and reality.. at last Friday's Easter Breakthrough prayer meeting at TOUCH Community centre.
So i decided to pray for breakthrough in this area.. and also the area of trust in Him for things in my life that bothered me. Bothers me coz i do not trust in Him.
To trust in Him and not swayed by circumstances or things i see or perceive.
Realize i need to put my breakthrough prayer into action. And since my faith wavered, decided to act in terms of giving the Breakthrough pledge/giving. THe additional amount which i've yet to give in advance. delayed for weeks due to busyness and reluctancy and uncertainty.. What if.. Is it.. really.. how can..crazy..
Last July or August I didn't managed to pluck up the courage and conscience to pull out the amount of giving that God impressed upon my heart. The testing of my faith..to another level. Upon reasoning and thinking much, I didn't do the unthinkable.. which is to give the entire savings amount i have in my bank account. not only were they savings, they were to be channeled to initial Study loan repayment, Hope Sem..etc etc spendings needed..and cashflow of course.
So in the end after long struggle, I gave at a lower faith level giving. A practical and safer margin. So, probably no breakthrough for me in this area of faith and trust in God.
However, in my heart, i still wanted to give the remaining sum to add up to the amount that was impressed upon me. And upon that, the 2nd opportunity or 2nd leg of the Breakthrough campaign was announced! ok great.. God opens 2nd opportunity for me to give now..
But upon reviewing my account.. realized that not long before and after bonus came..
(by Dec, Jan, Feb..) much was already spent! especially Christmas, CNY period, and remaining for Mission trip and church camp??
left none for.. my loan! and what bout Breakthrough giving!
argh, and even if i shift those to be charged to my saving account, still, i had not much left to split between Study loan and giving.. how ar..
by Thursday (30 March) I've shared my testimony in CG on my faith giving..
right circumstance, right opportunity so i decided to multipy the blessings by (hopefully) encouraging the others to give to God..
On the last Sunday, i decided to (quickly) give to God by faith now, and since my faith wavered, giving at this point in time will really be a faith giving.. And I really want to experience a breakthrough..to know and experience His love, goodness and protection and providence..to another level..that I can really trust Him..
What amazed me was that the amount I gave this 2nd leg was the EXACT estimated amount (that TK mentioned in CG on that Thurs..)to reach the goal this quarter to pay of debt, if EVERYONE contributes that amount..
so by this, i've fulfilled my part..in my means, and hope to encourage others to do the same..
my testimony ended by.. umm..it's not fully a testimony yet where God's working of a miracle or something came about by my giving.
Haha
But for myself..i already see a breakthrough in my first step of faith and what I go through with God now..
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