Here I Stand..when I can't stand..

19-20 April 06

Holy One prince of Peace,
Great and mighty is Your name!
All I need is found in You!
Come and touch my heart again..
I will lift my hands to You (2x)

Here I stand.. Lord I pray..
Let your glory fill this place..
Here I worship touching heaven
Lord I long to see Your face
Here I stand..

guess what, a song that helps me look to God in lousy/down/troubled times..
Here I Stand


the previous day i was like writing this:

Sin keeps clinging to me,
I can't remove, yet how I love it even, to get my self out of the rut
But how can this be? That You are Holy, and I'm not..
I do not want.
God, throw me into the pool of Your presence
And wash me clean. That I'll never be far from you again
If it's possible, shower and wet me with our Rain
Holy Spirit come in and fill my heart
make me whole again,
to see Your face
By the Power of Your Name.

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On Hindisght up till present

For the past few weeks (end march or early April), incidents and things have triggered me, in my heart and mind - hurts, jealousy,..and i don't know what.(was trying to find the root cause again)
to the point i close my heart that God can't come in to minister and take over.

I see even my heart hardening towards God. the period of selfishness, disobedience and the sinful nature rules over.
No Christ in me. There is some, as there is some tiny hole/slit of Him to slip in..

One major thing is the hurt. I know i'll break down if i bare my heart and wounds to God. hence i close up. No time to cry, Not enough time to be ministered esp in corporate worships. That's why i see my heart hardening.

-------
But of course by Easter 16 April, and over Good Friday God has done a marvelous thing..
He has brought me to experience His goodness and to boldly proclaim that He is great! (= good) and He is WISE!!..
Easter I was brought back to the cross.. and over the 3 days itself, i have 3 answered prayers cum miracle!!

no time to blog..
yeah, PTL!!

GOd is good and wise..

(although at present i still feel lousy and haven't been fully renewed)

to be con't