Choices choices.

think i'm always tested with these.
sometimes it gets tougher when you have to weight it between good stuff and good stuff. (clashes clashes..)
it's easy to strike off stuff previously.. think what i need to learn and continue to learn is balance.. time and again i'm tested. last time with greater dilemma.. now with unbelievable 'horror'.. what?? arghh.. how come.. and i'll just cry out to God first. Last time i would end up asking my Shepherd how ah?

and from my Hope Sem classes, Yin San shared on how we should go and seek's the Holy Spirit's guidance or leading.. choosing which is better or more beneficial of what God would want us to do.. instead of my own usually selfish and illogical desires..

sigh. clashes this week:

Tues: My M'sian fren's dinner gathering, BLM (Business Life Ministry) meet
(initially Jakarta short-term Missions team meet- shifted to Thurs now! :)

Wed: movie
Thurs: Mission meet
yeah.. only clashes on Tue now

my other 'dilemma' is from 3-4th Nov.
haven't seek God fully or prayed thru yet.

3 Nov : Paradise Worship seminar which i was 'scheming' to take leave from Hope Sem to attend..but quite impossible or unlikely.

3-5 Nov: Hope Sem Life & Teaching of Christ which I registered and payed up early to go. ALready took leave for the 4th nov!

suddenly last Sunday found out that
5 Nov: Unit Sport Superstar event!!! what..

funny.. before that i was telling God i want or hope to attend the Worship seminar leh.. but have Hope Sem which i commited and hope to finish also.. how?

then suddenly came the SPort superstar which I know i should and want to be there also (for impact and serving purpose.. if fun alone i'll forsake already)

then hehe. then perhaps i should cancel my Hope Sem and then I can go for the worship seminar!! muahaha.

hai but then.. don't want to wait another 2 year for the course to repeat to do it..

it's a matter of long-term and short-term goals and priorities.. haven't thought through or weight it out yet.

But i think God is good. SOmetimes, things just shift around and sort itself out. I've experienced it. don't need to tear my head or be in a dilemma so much.
see which to sacrifice now!!
ahh.. i'm a greedy person. want to do so many things

training training.. (for future)
---------
another thing that puzzle me.
James showed or keep asking me about the book "Choosing God's Best' or something like that. book on BGR relationshiplah.
not sure what he's hinting at. looked at the content. nothing strike or seems that presently relevant to me leh.. at least from that book. The fonts of the title is difficult to read!!
hehhehe. input welcomed!

crazy.. still stuck in office. for real. last time at least i was doing my own thing. just finished processing the CRF (Case Report Forms) to send to the client Data management in japan. Have to do lots of zapping after the tracking, and had to be real careful also.
and now am still waiting for the TNT courier guy to appear, and he's no where in sign..

tired tired/sleepy. have an assignment (pastoral counseling) to write..:'(. and i've no printer ink cartridge to print my assignment. wanted to buy at popular but by now it'll be closed..

----
'GOd, thank you for teaching me or letting me experience you closely when i'm in need of communion and fellowship, someone to encourage me when i'm bored and 'alone'..to know that you're the one who fulfills me and i can rest in contentment..the quiet presence and comfort of your Holy Spirit..Thank you Lord'
------
i'm talking bout emotional attachment.. today at work, had lots to do, but inside me..i was subtlely seeking and longing for human attention and care from ppl, like perhaps some sms from leaders or 'special' ppl. something that can make me smile and be happy for awhile, like distractions and something exciting that could inspire me..

and i realize what i was doing or seeking. Instead I believe God want to let me experience how it feels to be in that state.. and instead how i should and can rely on and seek His presence and fellowship instead.
TO learn this.
someday or if i'm church planting far far away,i could be in that situation. (Even daily life here) i shouldn't be seeking human comfort alone but God..

the courier person still has not come and they haven't got back to me.. tsk tsk..

'God i need your strenght and wisdom to do my assignment tonite as well..'

"Event meeting no. 3"!





(Chukai call it Pig-OUT!, plus Disembark.. really funny...tis bro really have the gift! of wittiness/humour..)haha

to mark the end of Get Onboard and Plug-IN.

I call it Plug-Out.

Nice closing..i say (thanks James & Vivien!!) to the end of the TOD (Tertiary Outreach Drive event)
had a dinner tog of thanksgiving, appreciation and affirmation.

this was 2 weeks ago, 2 Oct ;P

Generation

"Oh GOd let us be
A Generation that Seeks,
that seeks Your face
Oh God of Jacob"..

The song that I kept singing yesterday..
dunno why. On Sunday sang it in church.
'A generation that seeks your face' caught me..
Prayed for this generation will be one that seek God..
reminded of how the many generations after generation in the OT forsake, forget, rebel against God.. but yet He was merciful, and restored them every time they humbled themselves and seek God again..

What bout our generation today? after Jesus has died on the cross for the sin that ALL can go back to Him (no more Jews or Gentiles.. but forgiveness or sins are for all now..)
How the world is still far from Him and ignore His call or great love?
Oh God forgives us and draw us to You. Let the Church continue to seek Your face..God forgive us.. this generation

still remember vividly this theme song for EARC (East Asian REgional Confenrence) 2003 - The Malaysian COnference by Colin Pal. wonderful song i would want to sing and remember..

Chorus:
Though we're broken
a broken generation
But we're chosen
a chosen generation

Let us fight,
with all our might,
Let us run with joy
for the glory set before us

Let us fight,
with all our might,
Let us run with joy
for the glory set before us

Ending:
We are chosen...

Bumping into him.. (>half Written last Wed)

hai, i've still no idea where's the title column. don't see it in my blog space leh.

Nvm.
Sunday 2 OCt:
Normal Sunday, and finally or very excitedly, that hmm.. i am attending a Team Rally meet..haven't or have not served at leadership level yet before this..
Well, James invited me to the meet, to 'look see look see' or.. okloh.
though Andrew told me the other day to keep my Sunday lunch free. didn't know for what or didn't catch him properly.. it thot maybe incase he has visitors- to help look after..yeah, that was fine. coz if all leaders away.. who to take care of the people leh..

no visitors, but guess everyone could take care of themselves well.. have Jeremy also.

Anyway, so I went to the COMBINED TEam Rally meet for the first time..
My reason to want to go (Even though i'm not core team yet, or officially so) is to find out what the direction and vision and goals Ps Ben or the church has set out.. so i can like know what I could do also inline with that, and not have my own agendas and goals..

the reason I highlighted 'COMBINED' was that I didn't realize it's a combined meet! meaning the whole church including the Tertiary, youth, Filipino, Mandarin congregation..

haha. Stupid me. I first saw (or they called me) Shirley and dear Sijia at S11's table and happily and excitedly went over to them and half hugged them..
and then at the other end of the table saw..ehm..**
for me i just talked (hopefully not TOO loudly) because of my normal excitement seeing my dear sisters and ppl from Uni..

then walked off and towards Starhub for lunch with CG. hai.. rite after walking off the table my heart was like screaming loudly!! William was with me.. hai.. so wanted to share my exhilaration to someone but nobody I could share to.. only God loh...
so sad.

Then I realized, today’s a COMBINED team rally, that’s why they were here today!!
Hahaha.. got more happy and excited. (coz later he’ll be in there also..)

Going in to Nexus for team rally & the P&W has already begun. Was quite excited actually (of attending team rally) but tried to contain myself more and to think & act natural and neutral..

P&W was great. Gwendolyn, the Youth sister that many people who don’t know me well would mistake for me sometimes (due to facial and physical resemblance..) was leading P&W. and she was great in leading.

Then later, to my surprise (but not surpising), ** appeared on stage..usually I would be quite excited and beam widely. Then later calm down.

My first few thoughts was, hmm.. think I should I just call him my ‘idol’ now (someone I admire or being a fan of).. so that it would just be a normal kind of thing.

Nvm. Then to my horror or bewilderment (almost or did freeze in my seat for a while or a frozen look if anyone saw me then..) when suddenly later on he appeared & plonked into the seat exactly right across the passageway. What divine ‘co-ordination’. Or what I could think of..
Hai.. I just act bochap and stay cool lah through out.

(Side track..)
Was inspired at the testimonies of Christie & especially bro/Ps James Lim (fr Mandarin). His stories are always so real and amazing.. of how God works through him and with Him. (He was one of my Hope Sem instructor which inspire me much.. His life testimonies and enthusiasm and zealousness for God). I was telling Shireen that He has the gift of healing, evax.. etc. and what I remembered from his sharings was, we need to exercise it or use the gift when we’ve prayed and ask God for it..
His enthusiasm in running CGs last time when he was CL also amazed me. But it only caught on me when I struggled with thoughts that I would have a hard time or struggle with planning for CGs weekly when I serve as CL..(or even core team?) but I was reminded of his spirit.. and I kind of am inspired and motivated by it. And in turn am more positive towards running CGs. Praise the Lord.

Nevertheless, jotted some notes from Ps Ben about next Quarter’s direction..
Ohya, saw Mich went down to be prayed and anointed for – in her new role as CL!! Wah, Praise the Lord (a dear Uni Matric baby- my first, together with my dear ex-shepherd Daisy). God is great- with a wavering faith, can’t feel or experience God, she has now grown and mature in her faith and growing in her relationship with God.
The vision that God gave me of her leading in a SubD setting (during the first few months when she wasn’t stable in her walk with God and in fellowship) came to pass during my last SubD in NUS, and she’s now serving leadership role. Need to continue pray for her.

Then everything ended..

Was also thinking bout from the ‘holding on’ part which Andrew wrote in his blog.
Regarding this person, I’ve actually ‘let go’ sometime back.. (that explains the down grading to ‘idol’ or being fan of part.) But I would rather have it as admiring than anything else. Don’t like the idea and don’t want to have any idol or ‘idols’ before my God. The teaching after that week or was it the song we sang after that week was bout.. laying down my idols (Lord I will bow to you.. to the Word of truth…. …. To you alone). Don’t want anything that will distract me from my relationship with God and doing His will. Though I can imagine or remember what Han Hui usually would say “It’s not exclusively either-or” (something ard that line)


Although there were times where I’ll be caught reminiscing or dwelling (thank God rarely now) of the past possibility that God showed me through a sign that I asked for when I was way younger on whether he’s the right one (anxious, impatient-me), at church camp somemore! And God really showed me something you see! But thank God I was taught to understand and follow God’s general will first and not hold on
to anything (coz usually He doesn’t reveal anything specific if it’s not time yet, but of course He does if He has a purpose. And one possibility is that it doesn’t come from God). Well thank God for Accountability for through it, I am protected and guided to know God’s way and God’s will! ? Thanks to my shepherd as well haha, who guided me and taught me lessons on BGR back then even when she doesn’t have personal experience on such things. Such is the power of WOG! ++

TESTIMONY
Actually, God is great! Recently, there’s this Relationship Seminar in the adults. I thought it’ll be good to attend to learn more concerning relationship..as what I’ve learnt last time wasn’t enough I feel as sometimes I am still at lost or confuse of God’s way or principles that will guide me through my life). I had a desire in my heart to attend especially the second one (from Friendship to Courtship). Coz it’s quite interesting and relevant - for most ppl at this life station. However, my dear CL didn’t extend invitation to sign-up (he forgot as I’ve found out..) Hehe.. but nothing can stop God’s plan. It’s quite expensive also for the 3 sessions and I was quite ‘broke’/out of budget. And after the registration dateline, I called Lyi lyi and asked if I could register. And the response was negative - and advised me to borrow notes from my shepherd or others. Then ok lor.. good also as I didn’t really have the time for the 1st session, and the rest would kind of like clash half of it with my Hope Sem class.

But to my delight (And amazement – after everything was over), many weeks later, there was a sudden call for people who’s still interested to attend the remaining 2nd and 3rd part of the seminar. I found out I could only the 2nd and Shireen could attend the 3rd!! haha.. and so happily we signed up- (without dinner option)- and we’ll split the cost. (coz once yo sign up you’ll have to pay the full allocated fee – though cheaper than the initial registration fee).

A few weeks back, James messaged me to pay for the relationship seminar fee that I’ve attended. And it was only $3!! (compared to it I think $45 – If I signed-up earlier!)
Wow.. God is good. If He thinks what’s good or necessary for you.. He’ll give it to you.. ?
Now, I’ve been trying to learn to relate healthily to him and other people as well.. (As if I know him that well..not really actually).

-I can be really long winded.. haha. (more stories to come if any! – actually my own thoughts, reflection & recollection of things..)--------------------
-Let those who bother bother, let those who come and see, see...
(haha, my version of: ‘He who has ear to hear, let him hear’ (one in Luke 8:8b)- Jesus’s words.). for this particular story.

SWEAT IT OUT! - SUbD Family DAy






Nicholas's dog.













very funny,

funny to read the blog you half wrote last week and continue to want to write it out or post.. SO many things happen throughout the week also..or learnings from God & ppl.
btw, pic of the Family day! for rememberance..
the last pic, what!! KS on the tree!! since when..

photos courtesy of..(aiks.. i don't know.. din ask for permission also. Angela i reckon)

Blogging once a week - If I find the time to use the comp at nite at work.

Many thoughts I thought of that i wanted to blog. Not sure if my brain’s short term memory is able to retrieve or even store properly..

aiks, think it goes the same on how i have been recently or all along handling the WOG/Sunday sermon teachings. Have stopped doing my post-sermon/reflection after Sundays, though i tried to do.. but always, the other many things to do and sometimes 'sianness' cause me to do every other things than doing that. Gotta be more vigilant on myself!!

Arggh.. starting with last Sunday!! something that's screaming in my heart..
(hai, should entertain it too much, but i felt i gotta blog it out, dunno why.)

Let me back track a little first, else i get too carried away and hard to come back to Sat.
Saturday, 1 OCt: thank God and was an eventful day..
my Turbo grp’s project to organize the SubD Family DAy Games event has finally come and Praise the Lord and thank HIm for His faithfulness..

Can see that most ppl were having fun and also received feedback that they did enjoyed the games!!! phew.
REally glad they had a good time.. as that was part of the purpose of the event..

During the planning, not event sure it things would turn out rite and wasn’t sure of the outcome..

And the most incredible and awesome thing was.. phew.. GOd was great.. He answered our prayers.. and showed his favor and blessing for us to run this Family Day OUTDOOR!! (with a great weather, no sun, no rain!! - though it was bit hot & humid in the beginning)
i prayed for no rain (but asked the others also to pray for no sun, no rain - ideal), so that we could have a more fun time playing outdoor at the park than the indoor shopping game.. If it rains, although things could carry on, people's spirit will be more dampened and it would be less fun.

We checked the weather forecast, and Saturday (besides the most of whole week), it was supposed to rain in the afternoon. On Sat itself..when we were waiting for Qiqi who was quite late in reaching P.Ris, the weather was threatening to rain. And before Qiqi finally arrived it has already actually started to drizzle..(but there was also sun). Half of us hopped on to Qiqi's car to the Down town East. (I was saying, what- prayed for no sun, no rain- but God gave us Sun & rain!! – rainbow??) haha..

In our discussion and my heart, PLan B- Wet Weather PLan is to be executed if it really does rain heavily..but i submitted to God and also still prayed and hoped that it would not rain for the above reason.

and according to Lihong's testimony later during the prayer "the moment I step out of Qiqi's car, I don't even feel a drop of rain"..

Praise the Lord! we manage to proceed to the park and do the set-up!

And for programme timing control even though we started late, and all the uncertainties-- we actually ended on our latest planned time--~6.15pm!! so we could start dinner earlier..

It was a learning and good experience throughout.
Even if things didn't turn out well.. I believe I still have a lot to learn in the process of doing and organizing the event.. especially my attitudes, handling expectations, communication, humility in relating to others in my team.. especially my shepherd.. while working towards doing things excellently..

phew, long story.

Sunday: next blog