Davina Lim: My Jounal and Journey with Christ: Testimony

(for instant facts- search for bold sentence below )

My closer-Christian-friend -'mentor' colleague, Yanyi(whom I am so blessed with) whom guides me and gives me advices or feedback and whom I can always ask any questions have been telling me before that exposure or experience which you can write in your CV is more vital, not the title exactly. So look out for opportunities to do or learn more things.

I indeed was looking at title since I joined, and feeling bit insecure or inferior being an administrator, and for long. Esp when relating to other Uni grads or talking to those who have yet to graduate. (usually ppl don't aspire or expect to work as an administrator with a degree, but of course there's many. And my job can be done by a diploma qualification). Hoping to get out of it and progress in less than 1 year time (like what my previous predecessing colleagues did). And became fearful and doubtful bout myself and wondering why am I still stuck in it for long.

And also the fact, my boss promised to let me go out to local sites for monitoring exposure (job of CRAs), since the day I joined. But so far, he hasn't fulfilled his promise at all. 2005 left and 2006 came.
Although I managed to go to a site once for Site Initiation Visit (it was great, but that's the only time and it's NOT monitoring). When another colleague joined, she somehow was called by my boss to go out once, and a senior colleague once (becoz she's officially supporting the project) to the site (and that was only less than 6 months being in co.). I reminded my boss once during early this year. He promised other trainings and that too. But he never really did arrange monitorings outing. Besides that, i rationalized that I was also busy all the time in office and no time to go out probably.
(disappointing - like my father)

For me, I don't like to push my boss, even for the promotion he promised to look into. But looks like he needs to be pushed. As advice by my colleague as he's a very busy boss with many people and projects affair to take care off. Anyway, I don't like to demand/push your boss coz he's your boss. But also guess I didn't pray enough or at all this year bout this monitoring exposure, hence didn't hear God's guidance for action. I only hoped and prayed for promotion (Title) and increment (more money), yet missed this important element of monitoring exposure which I just waited and waited and waited.
(Thought hah, proven that he really needs to be pushed! Or threaten him to leave the co. then he'll promote you like my colleague is it?) Hah, but I don't think my position can la. Not highly indispensable enough. Or perhaps too highly indispensable as an administrator huh?

Haha. After my Blogging and prayer on Wed, the very next day,Thurs (20 July) morning, my dear colleague Yanyi SMSed me to congrats me that I'm approved to go out monitoring with a senior colleague Michael! (I didn't jump instantly with joy as I was with dampened hope and no expectation all these while..but was amazed and grateful for this amazing fact and unexpected turn out.)

The fact that it's not my official study, and it's at CGH (Changi General Hospital) - both which only where my other CPA colleague would be appropriate to go since she lives Tampines.
But God gave it to me despite the odds. Hah. I'm quite amazed. I thought how it miraculously happened? And query my colleague Yanyi. She said she asked Michael if there's any monitoring visits which needs help and to bring me along (and this wasn't the first time she has helped actually - but previously no results), and he went to think and then asked my boss for approval (which is quite likely to have no problem with).

And Voila! God's providence in the form which He thinks will be necessary or helpful for me in my career development (which I missed out).
Today, my senior colleague confirmed the date which is on 31st July 2006. PTL!

(so pathetic waited for so long that even such a small simple monitoring outing my colleague will Congrats me..hah)

Some lessons:
# You didn't Pray so you won't Expect. You don't Expect, so you won't Act,you don't Act, you won't Get.
>>So Pray [talk to God or ask Him] always and for everything!

# To put my security based on my identity in Christ and not my position, title or status relative to the society.

2nd prayer/hope came through:
My workload has reduced tremendously for this moment (this Mid June to Mid July!).
Suddenly very little emails, or people dropping task for you to do this and that all at once. But yet I'm struggling to keep up with time-work balance! (Feeling lost with trying to focus on one task for too long or spending too much time getting stuck on one. Not very good, as every minute spent needs to be billed to the specified task/project and need to account daily 8 hours! So if you're free or wanna take a break -- not that easy to just be free! That's the bad thing. (Envy ppl who can just be free when they're free)
I have prayed of hope for this (less menial task so I can actually go dig deeper into what I'm doing and not blindly rushing to finish task, though I enjoyed it sometimes). And discovered me can be quite lazy still! :X
In hope I can learn more.

Need to learn to take hold of my time and be faithful to be focused and effective still..

Yanyi, Me and Wai Cheon doing a grp excercise