by Joel Houston/Hillsong Publishing
What to say Lord it's
You who gave me life
ANd I CAn't explain
Just how much you mean to me
Now that You Have saved me Lord
I Give All that I am to you
That Every day I can
Be A light that shines Your name
EVERY DAY LORD
I'LL LEARN TO STAND UPON YOUR WORD
AND I PRAY THAT I MIGHT
COME TO KNOW YOU MORE
WON'T YOU GUIDE ME IN
EVERY SINGLE STEP I TAKE AND
EVERYDAY I WILL
BE YOUR LIGHT UNTO THE WORLD
EVERY DAY IT'S YOU I LIVE FOR
EVERY DAY I'LL FOLLOW AFTER YOU
EVERY DAY I'LL WALK WITH YOU MY LORD
IT'S YOU I LIVE FOR EVERY DAY (3X)
listened to this song in the morning (not the first time).. and it's a reminder and a prayer..
coz it's a challenge for me now..
from Lincoln Brewster's All to You CD! (thanks Sandz!!) it's really cool.
LOVE THE LORD (Lincoln Brewster)
Love the Lord with all your heart
With All your soul
With all your mind and with all your strenght (2x)
With All your heart with all your soul
with all your mind with all your strenght
Love the Lord with all your heart
With All your soul
With all your mind and with all your strenght
Serve the Lord with all your heart....
(part or the song)
I wanna love God and serve Him with all my heart!
Friday, December 30, 2005
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Gourmet Coffee..
There's a new coffee making machine right in my office pantry..Expresso? cappucino?
If you know how to make it. premium coffee.. Starbucks or coffebean free flow..
(it cost a few K, given by courier company) heh.. they feed with with loads of goodies from mooncakes to umbrellas to Chrismas cakes!)
haha. made my first cup of premium coffee today. yeah.. taste good! And I'm not a coffee drinker/person..
keke.
Blessed rite? nice coffee anytime when i'm sleepy.. no more Nescafe Gold classic mix with Milo to make Mocha! wahhaa.
Btw, my company's really great.
Standard Freeflow:
COKE, COKE light, Green tea (Pokka/Heaven & Earth),
Hot beverages (Tea, green tea, Coffee, Milo)
Cup Instant noodle,
Biscuits (Jacob & assorted)
Others:
occasional miscellenous snacks (including from Taiwan, HK, Thai, UK, anywhere.. when bosses and collegues fly overseas for business trip or when anyone feel like buying any)
If you know how to make it. premium coffee.. Starbucks or coffebean free flow..
(it cost a few K, given by courier company) heh.. they feed with with loads of goodies from mooncakes to umbrellas to Chrismas cakes!)
haha. made my first cup of premium coffee today. yeah.. taste good! And I'm not a coffee drinker/person..
keke.
Blessed rite? nice coffee anytime when i'm sleepy.. no more Nescafe Gold classic mix with Milo to make Mocha! wahhaa.
Btw, my company's really great.
Standard Freeflow:
COKE, COKE light, Green tea (Pokka/Heaven & Earth),
Hot beverages (Tea, green tea, Coffee, Milo)
Cup Instant noodle,
Biscuits (Jacob & assorted)
Others:
occasional miscellenous snacks (including from Taiwan, HK, Thai, UK, anywhere.. when bosses and collegues fly overseas for business trip or when anyone feel like buying any)
Covance 2005 (last end 2 Quarter)
Reception - Opening of Covance new office space in early Aug 05.. where all the 'big shots fr US came down to launch.
Heh.. this my workstation in a messy state..
My boss's room right in front..:P He's a nice good boss (Wife's a 'Christian', he's not.. yet)
My dear collegues Mike & Law.. the only 2 guys collegue besides my boss in my department. You won't wanna see what one always do to the other..
CLS(Central Lab Services) at Chevron KTV session (i was long away..for Unit or SubD or something..)
They belongs to the other Business Unit where Hannah/Shufen belongs to. Yet we share the same office space/work inclose proximity! Except for the rest of the lab people who are largely in the lab except for lunch, tea or after work hours. Which I seldom mix with.
Oh.. my blessed bowl of porridge cooked by my faithful aunt early in the morning.. or ones in a purple moon at night.
other photos not with me or available yet.
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
When God Speaks to you at your waking moments..
better capture it down before it slippes away..
this morning, i woke up with conviction in my heart to the situation that I'm in, that I have been approaching it in a wrong way.
The Holy Spirit reminded me or convicted (still to be tested..) me through what my Shepherd taught/talked to me before not too long ago.
3 or 4 times I woke up with the same thought and conviction (coz i went back to sleep again - not time's up yet or was I lazing) of my wrong and guilt and the need to change. or at least what to change..
And after really waking up, i felt a sense of closeness and freshness with God, my heart lighthen and some burden lifted..
Long time I have ever felt such.. refreshed, or clear hearted to be in the presence of God..
(Or did God have to speak to me at my waking moments coz i was too clouded to seek or hear Him speak at other moments of the day..) ;P
this morning, i woke up with conviction in my heart to the situation that I'm in, that I have been approaching it in a wrong way.
The Holy Spirit reminded me or convicted (still to be tested..) me through what my Shepherd taught/talked to me before not too long ago.
3 or 4 times I woke up with the same thought and conviction (coz i went back to sleep again - not time's up yet or was I lazing) of my wrong and guilt and the need to change. or at least what to change..
And after really waking up, i felt a sense of closeness and freshness with God, my heart lighthen and some burden lifted..
Long time I have ever felt such.. refreshed, or clear hearted to be in the presence of God..
(Or did God have to speak to me at my waking moments coz i was too clouded to seek or hear Him speak at other moments of the day..) ;P
'Spiritual Decline'
Drafted 1 week ago and cont' today
For some moments of thought, I asked my self if I have experienced backsliding.
But analysing my relationship with God, I thought no, backsliding would be slipping away or turning away from God.
Hence, today spiritual decline's the word which I feel more aptly describe my recent status. Or so I thought - (temporarily till I get the right analysis if and when I do!)
I feel not so spiritually inclined, takes me a harder time to intake the Word of God, takes a lot more effort for the Word to make sense to me,
And more self-centredness, disobedient spirit, doing things my way, my feelings get into way.
That is when SIN gets into the way. I feel so hard to be spirit-filled, waging war again my sinful nature - thoughts, desires and ways.
It's a battle. Hence it's a struggle.
For the past few weeks, or more then a month.
Like what Andrew mentioned, think I need to take a BATH, not just clean myself. Sin have been accumulating.
Wrong spirit and focus, yet it is so subtle.
How did it start? What's the root cause?
Written today:
The initial phase I was in..(long story..)
But briefly:
1st I was deeply troubled in mind and heart due to some thoughts/'visions' I had.
Then it leads to me being easily angered, frustrated and bitter towards people when they start getting on my nerves and pissing me off. To my leaders or shepherd or whoever. Even the taxi driver who wanted to drive me to Or"CHARD" Rd instead of City Harvest "CHURCH").
... Behold my anger. Rub me the wrong way..don't think I won't scold you..
Even William sometime back during this period finds me angry coz I scolded him also for something. Hahaha
(of course when such things happen, the problem is me, not people, even if they pose a problem to you.)
The holy spirit still reminds me things, thank God & Praise God!.
Things got better a little, as I realize the state and sin I'm allowing myself to commit if I continue, tried to apologize to a few people. Nvm.
Finally talked to my shepherd the start/initial part of my dilemma.
Things progressed so fast (for the better/worst)in WEEKS pace, that I didn't really get to update my shepherd any much.
I got better I felt. And really thank God I did a little, or else I would have got into real argument or fight with my sheep. Thank God I didn't la, else it'll be irreversible damage done.
God knows the timing yeah.. and I prayed lah. He knows my limit.
The week progressed, thought I still feel not in full gear spiritually speaking.
……
However all along, despite what I was/am going through, at the back of my mind I know that God is allowing/putting me to go through something. It is a realistic situation and even struggle which needs my action. And in accordance and obedience with His Word to experience how to breakthrough it.
Few impt things are:
1. Being able to identify with many many people why and how they'll feel and do what they do, (my mum, my bro, my sheep, my CG mates etc. and other people in general)
2. God is revealing some of the areas of my life which I was covered up with something else instead of really being cleaned and transformed by Him.
Including this area which i connected with how I've been managing emotions incl anger. I was never an angry person, (not until lately). If you make me angry then you're seriously in deep trouble..
……….
……….
Circumstance changes pretty fast..
But what bout me? (I'm learning to not be swayed (feelings etc.) and affected by circumstances but manage how I am based on the foundation and principles of WOG.. As I'm tested now..)
Things progressed really fast this past week.. I don't know what I'm into..
Until…
(to be con't)
For some moments of thought, I asked my self if I have experienced backsliding.
But analysing my relationship with God, I thought no, backsliding would be slipping away or turning away from God.
Hence, today spiritual decline's the word which I feel more aptly describe my recent status. Or so I thought - (temporarily till I get the right analysis if and when I do!)
I feel not so spiritually inclined, takes me a harder time to intake the Word of God, takes a lot more effort for the Word to make sense to me,
And more self-centredness, disobedient spirit, doing things my way, my feelings get into way.
That is when SIN gets into the way. I feel so hard to be spirit-filled, waging war again my sinful nature - thoughts, desires and ways.
It's a battle. Hence it's a struggle.
For the past few weeks, or more then a month.
Like what Andrew mentioned, think I need to take a BATH, not just clean myself. Sin have been accumulating.
Wrong spirit and focus, yet it is so subtle.
How did it start? What's the root cause?
Written today:
The initial phase I was in..(long story..)
But briefly:
1st I was deeply troubled in mind and heart due to some thoughts/'visions' I had.
Then it leads to me being easily angered, frustrated and bitter towards people when they start getting on my nerves and pissing me off. To my leaders or shepherd or whoever. Even the taxi driver who wanted to drive me to Or"CHARD" Rd instead of City Harvest "CHURCH").
... Behold my anger. Rub me the wrong way..don't think I won't scold you..
Even William sometime back during this period finds me angry coz I scolded him also for something. Hahaha
(of course when such things happen, the problem is me, not people, even if they pose a problem to you.)
The holy spirit still reminds me things, thank God & Praise God!.
Things got better a little, as I realize the state and sin I'm allowing myself to commit if I continue, tried to apologize to a few people. Nvm.
Finally talked to my shepherd the start/initial part of my dilemma.
Things progressed so fast (for the better/worst)in WEEKS pace, that I didn't really get to update my shepherd any much.
I got better I felt. And really thank God I did a little, or else I would have got into real argument or fight with my sheep. Thank God I didn't la, else it'll be irreversible damage done.
God knows the timing yeah.. and I prayed lah. He knows my limit.
The week progressed, thought I still feel not in full gear spiritually speaking.
……
However all along, despite what I was/am going through, at the back of my mind I know that God is allowing/putting me to go through something. It is a realistic situation and even struggle which needs my action. And in accordance and obedience with His Word to experience how to breakthrough it.
Few impt things are:
1. Being able to identify with many many people why and how they'll feel and do what they do, (my mum, my bro, my sheep, my CG mates etc. and other people in general)
2. God is revealing some of the areas of my life which I was covered up with something else instead of really being cleaned and transformed by Him.
Including this area which i connected with how I've been managing emotions incl anger. I was never an angry person, (not until lately). If you make me angry then you're seriously in deep trouble..
……….
……….
Circumstance changes pretty fast..
But what bout me? (I'm learning to not be swayed (feelings etc.) and affected by circumstances but manage how I am based on the foundation and principles of WOG.. As I'm tested now..)
Things progressed really fast this past week.. I don't know what I'm into..
Until…
(to be con't)
Friday, December 16, 2005
Yet if I let emotions and sin grip me & continually so, i'll screw up everything around me. very quickly, many damages will be done. In the end, destruction will come. As your spiritual life spiral down hill and wither away as you fall further away into sin and away from God. And there'll be no more.. Psalms 1 and Psalm somewhere.
It'll be robbing off the blessings around me, and God won't be able to use me as His vessel and channel to do His work.
It'll be robbing off the blessings around me, and God won't be able to use me as His vessel and channel to do His work.
Friday, December 09, 2005
Confirmation Letter & bonus!
Got my confirmation of emloyment letter (company) on Monday (5 Dec) and 2005 bonus pay out slip yesterday!
Yeay!
…thank God for His favor and providence and leading me into this current job.
Although my bonus's not a lot. (only a quarter of my salary. The complicated calculation is 80% of your individual bonus opportunity target (which is 5%) = 4% of your bonus eligible earnings)
and didn't feel extremely happy, but am really thankful for whatever I get. :)
Yeay!
…thank God for His favor and providence and leading me into this current job.
Although my bonus's not a lot. (only a quarter of my salary. The complicated calculation is 80% of your individual bonus opportunity target (which is 5%) = 4% of your bonus eligible earnings)
and didn't feel extremely happy, but am really thankful for whatever I get. :)
Monday, December 05, 2005
Daisy & me at our farewell cum my post-Birthday celeb!! late Aug 05??
CAfe Cartel at Suntec. ordered a giant 'ice-cream' that when it came, we frantically started calling people we know who could possibly come help us eat it!
posted this because it's a nice memory. and my ex-shepherd/spiritual mentor has served God as my shepherd and I'm trully blessed by the past 2 years from mid 2003-2005 which she 'took care' or guided of me,not only in my spiritual walk but hollistically. Giving me lots teaching (principles & Word of God) which proves useful and builds the foundation that keeps me strong and going. when the storm comes, the wind blows and the flood rises.. (Matthew 7: 24-27)
of course still need to grow in usage and application of WOG in my life more..coz i'm not very strong in that. a lot of head knowledge..But guess God is allowing more circumstances for me to go deeper and let His Word and truth really flows through my life. as He reveals more areas of my life that's not right,not dealt with. Prunning, Sanctification. Can't see all by myself, that's why it's so blessed to have Shepherds & leaders to speak into your life!! given by God..
Friday, December 02, 2005
Worship songs & power of the Holy Spirit
if you play Worship songs and sleep,
you can wake up in the middle of the night being ministered by it.
last night, with a stressed/weary body from a troubled soul and spirit,
i told God i need to like 2 hours to do my Work stuff. REad the SOP and do up my Performance Review/self-assesment.
but at night i was too unable to do anything.
at 4am i woke up being ministered by the song or lyrics. and became wide awake thereafter. I thanked God for waking me up.. because i needed it. this is not the first time. but after like and hour.. i'll go back to the sleepy mode-- work half/un-done.. and go to sleep.
But it was great to experience and be ministered through worshipping God in music, and the Holy spirit wakes you up.
The other time, i was getting sick, my body's like so cold (bundle myself into a ball and try to sleep it away coz nothing else i could do. Like usual, in down time like these, i would switch on my Praise & Worship songs to sleep. That night, in the middle of the night i woke up--with the lyrics of the songs ministering to me. At that point, i knew and i wanted to get up coz I have undone stuff. i needed to go brush my teeth, switch of the lights etc. being woken up by songs declaring the praise and power of God, my spirit was renewed, and i also started to pray in the spirit to give me strenght to wake up from my bed. (was feeling too sick/feverish)to wake up. By the power of the Holy Spirit thru prayer & praising God, lo and behold, i manage to get up after a few minutes.. and it was amazing. Not by my own strenght, but by the power of the Holy spirit
you can wake up in the middle of the night being ministered by it.
last night, with a stressed/weary body from a troubled soul and spirit,
i told God i need to like 2 hours to do my Work stuff. REad the SOP and do up my Performance Review/self-assesment.
but at night i was too unable to do anything.
at 4am i woke up being ministered by the song or lyrics. and became wide awake thereafter. I thanked God for waking me up.. because i needed it. this is not the first time. but after like and hour.. i'll go back to the sleepy mode-- work half/un-done.. and go to sleep.
But it was great to experience and be ministered through worshipping God in music, and the Holy spirit wakes you up.
The other time, i was getting sick, my body's like so cold (bundle myself into a ball and try to sleep it away coz nothing else i could do. Like usual, in down time like these, i would switch on my Praise & Worship songs to sleep. That night, in the middle of the night i woke up--with the lyrics of the songs ministering to me. At that point, i knew and i wanted to get up coz I have undone stuff. i needed to go brush my teeth, switch of the lights etc. being woken up by songs declaring the praise and power of God, my spirit was renewed, and i also started to pray in the spirit to give me strenght to wake up from my bed. (was feeling too sick/feverish)to wake up. By the power of the Holy Spirit thru prayer & praising God, lo and behold, i manage to get up after a few minutes.. and it was amazing. Not by my own strenght, but by the power of the Holy spirit
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Distress Call
God hold my work in Your hands..
(hold your people in Your hands)
hold my LIFE in Your hands..
Lead me in Your righteousness
Deliver me from sin and the evil one..
if my sheep also abandon me, i will cry..
i pray not, coz You are with me
You are ever before me.
I'm gonna be a History maker..
(hold your people in Your hands)
hold my LIFE in Your hands..
Lead me in Your righteousness
Deliver me from sin and the evil one..
if my sheep also abandon me, i will cry..
i pray not, coz You are with me
You are ever before me.
I'm gonna be a History maker..
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Finally got my Title! haha. CG Retreat @Pasir Ris 18-20 Nov
(Back Posting) : 2 weeks since I blog. anyway,
many or few things has passed. Had my CG's retreat from 18-20th Fri nite -Sun morning, at Holiday Flats Pasir Ris, courtesy or Qiu Yan's mum. at a very low price.
What i enjoyed most was the relaxing greenery from the window, the park, the play ground! and the quality time spent with the sisters (although very little) and the rest as a CG. Quite fun actually. BBQ was great.. seeing how Jarain, Shireen they all came up with the menu, got everything ready, got the guys to buy stuffs - travelled to White Sands together , and then I left for Turbo Group session at RIver Valley min house unfortunately but timing was ok..
came back and everyone was eating and food was cooking. Quite amazed..(reason below)
and at the end of the whole thing, felt it was wonderful and the objectives of the little Retreat was met..
coming CG (which is today) should be on reflection of the CG Retreat..(but found out at CG it's not! (William don't simply anyhow disseminate wrong info!!!!!!)(but it was good change for me to charge myself to reflect. Coz reflection is not my full time habit. which w/o it many things may pass by without me making sense of, capturing or learning from it) :)
so i got myself to reflect.. or tried to.. okie.
so the 2 Objectives set was:
1) Revitalise our relationship with Jesus Christ!
2) Reenergize our relationship with one another
Upon reflecting on this two things
the 2nd objective was what i could easily recall intially.
and felt the relationship and fellowship atmosphere was very positive and different the last time we were together for extended period of time (altough this wasn't fully extended for everyone.
3 points:
Unity (waiting for one another etc. ),
care (Service- BBQ- cooking, Gavin - Worship song prep and help singing, Qui Yan..calling Jarain, blanket) and etc.
love (tolerance-despite being complained.)
just short pointers here. no time to elaborate yet. was thinking of affirming ppl on CG blog..re-consider/see if i manage to
then i tried to reflect upon the 1st Objective -my relationship with Christ during and through the retreat.. eh.. how come can't really think of.. But few days later (only last night i recalled something..)
- the distinction between my relationship with God and ministry (The 'spiritual' things i do for Him and busy myself with). It just dawn upon me as i felt myself taking a step back on Sunday morning.. attending the morning SubD prayer meeting at Singtel Comm care (where Tricia works!!! haha. Many a times i felt i was just too pre-occupied doing things for God and trying to accomplish them, that my relationship with Him is rather neglected or dry.. not deep.. although i do communicate with HIm. Maybe it's the little quiet time a spent on Saturday morning (when i woke up pretty early, before 7am! when QiuYan have to leave for work and I woke up and can't sleep any more. even though i slept 3AM plus that nite. The pillow was uncomfortable. But didn't bother to change it to something else (my portable pillow!)That morning, just took out the bible again and sat down, cool peaceful morning, with windows open, the grass and greenery outside..
how nice.. haven't done this for a long time and actually miss it.
and actually i was trying to seek God and piece my Worship songs together!! had been doing that since 1am plus the night before!!
poor apple . see me playing guitar before sleeping and waking her up with guitar in the morning..:P as if i'm a guitar freak..
pardon me!
(think my Spirit's not very right.. as if angry with something and have bitterness like that, the way or things i'm writing..)
haha.(& I can still laugh. jialat) (28 Nov)
many or few things has passed. Had my CG's retreat from 18-20th Fri nite -Sun morning, at Holiday Flats Pasir Ris, courtesy or Qiu Yan's mum. at a very low price.
What i enjoyed most was the relaxing greenery from the window, the park, the play ground! and the quality time spent with the sisters (although very little) and the rest as a CG. Quite fun actually. BBQ was great.. seeing how Jarain, Shireen they all came up with the menu, got everything ready, got the guys to buy stuffs - travelled to White Sands together , and then I left for Turbo Group session at RIver Valley min house unfortunately but timing was ok..
came back and everyone was eating and food was cooking. Quite amazed..(reason below)
and at the end of the whole thing, felt it was wonderful and the objectives of the little Retreat was met..
coming CG (which is today) should be on reflection of the CG Retreat..(but found out at CG it's not! (William don't simply anyhow disseminate wrong info!!!!!!)(but it was good change for me to charge myself to reflect. Coz reflection is not my full time habit. which w/o it many things may pass by without me making sense of, capturing or learning from it) :)
so i got myself to reflect.. or tried to.. okie.
so the 2 Objectives set was:
1) Revitalise our relationship with Jesus Christ!
2) Reenergize our relationship with one another
Upon reflecting on this two things
the 2nd objective was what i could easily recall intially.
and felt the relationship and fellowship atmosphere was very positive and different the last time we were together for extended period of time (altough this wasn't fully extended for everyone.
3 points:
Unity (waiting for one another etc. ),
care (Service- BBQ- cooking, Gavin - Worship song prep and help singing, Qui Yan..calling Jarain, blanket) and etc.
love (tolerance-despite being complained.)
just short pointers here. no time to elaborate yet. was thinking of affirming ppl on CG blog..re-consider/see if i manage to
then i tried to reflect upon the 1st Objective -my relationship with Christ during and through the retreat.. eh.. how come can't really think of.. But few days later (only last night i recalled something..)
- the distinction between my relationship with God and ministry (The 'spiritual' things i do for Him and busy myself with). It just dawn upon me as i felt myself taking a step back on Sunday morning.. attending the morning SubD prayer meeting at Singtel Comm care (where Tricia works!!! haha. Many a times i felt i was just too pre-occupied doing things for God and trying to accomplish them, that my relationship with Him is rather neglected or dry.. not deep.. although i do communicate with HIm. Maybe it's the little quiet time a spent on Saturday morning (when i woke up pretty early, before 7am! when QiuYan have to leave for work and I woke up and can't sleep any more. even though i slept 3AM plus that nite. The pillow was uncomfortable. But didn't bother to change it to something else (my portable pillow!)That morning, just took out the bible again and sat down, cool peaceful morning, with windows open, the grass and greenery outside..
how nice.. haven't done this for a long time and actually miss it.
and actually i was trying to seek God and piece my Worship songs together!! had been doing that since 1am plus the night before!!
poor apple . see me playing guitar before sleeping and waking her up with guitar in the morning..:P as if i'm a guitar freak..
pardon me!
(think my Spirit's not very right.. as if angry with something and have bitterness like that, the way or things i'm writing..)
haha.(& I can still laugh. jialat) (28 Nov)
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Paradise Worship Concert & Seminar 2-3 Nov 05 ~ Power or Praising God!!
After that, I really asked God loh, should I go for the Paradise Worship Seminar?
In my heart, i felt the Holy Spirit says 'go'..
well, upon getting the go ahead from, God, i executed my plan!!
haha. In the end, i've actually talked to Charmaine about missing the few hours of Hope Sem Life & Teaching of Christ class and come in after lunch. Well, because the Hope Seminary's rule is that a student must not miss more than 20% of any particular course duration (in order to be counted elligible for the course credits, Charmaine counted the number of hours that I would miss (in to my amazement, and joyfully thanking and praising the Lord, the number of hours I would miss is just right before 20%!! or almost near there but not. Praise & thank the Lord!!
with this official consent,
I went for Paradise Worship seminar loh!! on Thurs 3 Nov 10-2pm!haha, actually the day before that (3 Nov), i managed to go for the Paradise concert as well!! was asking around for friends and visitors to come along, but in the end, my call to Liwen was an answered prayer to her to join me and William to read the bible at Macdonalds!! (she was trying to look for a place to read the bible after she bumped into a closed Jurong East Library on Hari Raya Public Hol, And she prayed to God that she hope to go to Macs, and there would be someone ordering food or drinks there so she wouldn't have to order anything. (she is very tight on $, and actually God just granted her the job that leads her into the Clinial Trials/research area she wished to go into a few weeks ago.)
This sister really has a lot of amazing and wonderful testimonies to share.. about her encounter with God..how God healed her, worked through her to minister to people etc. etc. ' My ex shepherd Daisy told me, she has a desperate heaert for God, that's why God shows Himself very real to her.. coz i told Daisy after that night that I felt lacking in those experiences with God which she shared.. which my ex-shepherd put in words as 'loud, outward'. Daisy shared in her sms that "God works differently in all our lives, not all the time loud/outward, sometimes inward". and that can pray for deeper experiences with God..
aiks.. and usually the deeper experiences with God is when you go thru though and hard times loh.. scary leh.. like praying for difficulties, hardship, trials and challenges.. and it's true.. Liwen's life has not been easy, or how the circumstance that came to her and how she has to handle it at her level or faith.. she really struggled but trusted God.. she really fervently and desperately seeks God... through prayer, fasting.. really hungry for God and spiritually for His Word and presence.. really encourages me much wheni meet her and she shares her woes and struggles. But that night, it was very much faith and encouraging testimonies..
she was struggling to go for Water baptism, or had uncertian fears.. but she rally shared, prayed and responded to God.. through the worship session, altar call. I responded also, for a miracle for God to work in, and so happen she wanted to go down to respond to altar call, so I went down with her. Kill 2 birds in 1 stone..(accompanying her also), though, i would not have gone down to the front by myself.. see, she is even more aggressive in seeking God than I who will give in to intimidity to respond outwardly in an intimidating setting like that..
Praise the Lord. the respond was link to what Pastor Paul Zaia (The worship Pastor/Music director of Paradise worship team). Power of Praising God!
Something that struck and a reminder to me, to Praise God still no matter what circumstance, and it's an action or FAITH to claim God's victory and promises even though I don't see it yet. The other things that i brought home that night was the message of God's plan for us is victory, God's plan for us is to be MORE than counquerors,...forgot already.
Looked for Daisy up the auditorium after the session. and we shared a little. Liwen and she caught up. Then it was supper and Kok Siang dropped addy, Liwen and me home. The amazing thing is, even Kok Siang says he was blessed by Liwen's testimony of healings, God's working and goodness and how we must not be consumed by anger.. in order for God to work. etc. etc.
great day..
In my heart, i felt the Holy Spirit says 'go'..
well, upon getting the go ahead from, God, i executed my plan!!
haha. In the end, i've actually talked to Charmaine about missing the few hours of Hope Sem Life & Teaching of Christ class and come in after lunch. Well, because the Hope Seminary's rule is that a student must not miss more than 20% of any particular course duration (in order to be counted elligible for the course credits, Charmaine counted the number of hours that I would miss (in to my amazement, and joyfully thanking and praising the Lord, the number of hours I would miss is just right before 20%!! or almost near there but not. Praise & thank the Lord!!
with this official consent,
I went for Paradise Worship seminar loh!! on Thurs 3 Nov 10-2pm!haha, actually the day before that (3 Nov), i managed to go for the Paradise concert as well!! was asking around for friends and visitors to come along, but in the end, my call to Liwen was an answered prayer to her to join me and William to read the bible at Macdonalds!! (she was trying to look for a place to read the bible after she bumped into a closed Jurong East Library on Hari Raya Public Hol, And she prayed to God that she hope to go to Macs, and there would be someone ordering food or drinks there so she wouldn't have to order anything. (she is very tight on $, and actually God just granted her the job that leads her into the Clinial Trials/research area she wished to go into a few weeks ago.)
This sister really has a lot of amazing and wonderful testimonies to share.. about her encounter with God..how God healed her, worked through her to minister to people etc. etc. ' My ex shepherd Daisy told me, she has a desperate heaert for God, that's why God shows Himself very real to her.. coz i told Daisy after that night that I felt lacking in those experiences with God which she shared.. which my ex-shepherd put in words as 'loud, outward'. Daisy shared in her sms that "God works differently in all our lives, not all the time loud/outward, sometimes inward". and that can pray for deeper experiences with God..
aiks.. and usually the deeper experiences with God is when you go thru though and hard times loh.. scary leh.. like praying for difficulties, hardship, trials and challenges.. and it's true.. Liwen's life has not been easy, or how the circumstance that came to her and how she has to handle it at her level or faith.. she really struggled but trusted God.. she really fervently and desperately seeks God... through prayer, fasting.. really hungry for God and spiritually for His Word and presence.. really encourages me much wheni meet her and she shares her woes and struggles. But that night, it was very much faith and encouraging testimonies..
she was struggling to go for Water baptism, or had uncertian fears.. but she rally shared, prayed and responded to God.. through the worship session, altar call. I responded also, for a miracle for God to work in, and so happen she wanted to go down to respond to altar call, so I went down with her. Kill 2 birds in 1 stone..(accompanying her also), though, i would not have gone down to the front by myself.. see, she is even more aggressive in seeking God than I who will give in to intimidity to respond outwardly in an intimidating setting like that..
Praise the Lord. the respond was link to what Pastor Paul Zaia (The worship Pastor/Music director of Paradise worship team). Power of Praising God!
Something that struck and a reminder to me, to Praise God still no matter what circumstance, and it's an action or FAITH to claim God's victory and promises even though I don't see it yet. The other things that i brought home that night was the message of God's plan for us is victory, God's plan for us is to be MORE than counquerors,...forgot already.
Looked for Daisy up the auditorium after the session. and we shared a little. Liwen and she caught up. Then it was supper and Kok Siang dropped addy, Liwen and me home. The amazing thing is, even Kok Siang says he was blessed by Liwen's testimony of healings, God's working and goodness and how we must not be consumed by anger.. in order for God to work. etc. etc.
great day..
Phew, not much time to blog man!!
Worship Seminar – Sonic Edge, Power of a New Song!Like many weeks ago, suddenly my shepherd told me of a worship seminar which I told her about some time ago (which I couldn’t go). I thot, huh.. are you sure? Which one? Got meh? .. haha. In the end found out it’s actually a repeat seminar organised by Campus Crusade Media due to overwhelming response, and the Seminar was ‘ A Refreshing Approach to Worship’ by Robert Brenner of Integrity Music Label Group.
Oh course I went man!! That was so happen the only week I was free from Hope Sem class (because it was a study week/break before the exams the week after! Didn’t realize..)
Of course God is good.. haha. I end up messaging many many people about it and asked if they wanna register to go, as I called up the organizer and they asked me to fax in registration.
In the end Shirley signed up through me. Others like Benaiah, Rachel has already signed up long time.
I was so thrilled. Initially Shirley said someone is going. I was then like overjoyed and bewildering my 2 colleagues who probably think I went crazy suddenly laughing and smiling to myself!
In the end both Shirley and the person didn’t come also. But dear Sijia came in Shirley’s place. Had a great time of Praise & worship sessions. We had time to sing worship songs to God every available slot before, between, after every breaks between the 2 topics of seminar and tea break! Wahh.. that was really great.
But the thing that made the whole seminar great was the Sonic Edge band!!
They were really making great music with their instruments. All guys, only 1 girl back-up singer among the whole worship team!
But it was the worship leader who was pretty cool and amazing.. I was initially amazed when he played the lead guitar and while singing lead.. wah..
In between trying to appreciate the music and admire the team & worship leader (quite good looking also from far), I thought and say to myself ‘Thank God the lyric projection screens are not right behind the band, they were up high to the left and right of the stage. Yeah.. really thank God, if not would have a hard time worshipping my God looking at the lyric of new songs with the band in view, trying not to admire or pay attention to them when I’m worshipping my God.
The topics were ‘Biblical Worship (something like that.. and something what Hope Sem had earlier on ‘Worship from Genesis to Revelation’ which I couldn’t take also)
And Power of A New Song!
The teaching on Power of a New song really gave me a new freedom and new understanding of the truth of singing a new song to God. Every other worship sessions I in church has been doing that, which is the ‘free worship’ part.. where you sing a new song (anything,, from your heart to God) or sing in the ‘spirit’ or tongues. Hmm.. think I’ll share this in my CG blog.
Anyway, the new understanding that I captured is that singing a new song is about expressing your joy, thanks giving after God has touched you or you has touched or meet God in worship in the songs before! That was really amazing. Previously, during free worship sessions, I would sometimes, or most of the times, just sing some tunes with whatever came to my mind. Think I was more of singing a new song for the sake of singing a new song.
But now I understand and experience the joy and power of expressing to God in a fresh way because of what He has done..
There are many other things I learnt or am reminded about worship.. like we were created to worship God, we will be worshipping God in heaven, worship is an obedient response to God.. worship.. a life (lifestyle) that’s lived as pleasing, honouring and glorifying unto God..and about leading people to meet God..
Need to go back to my notes for better description =P. Forgot many other things.. but this is roughly what I captured.
Yeah.. that's the Faith Methodist church venue which they used. cool. can see the Sonic edge lead worshipper on stage?
btw, saw many others there too, like VIVIEN.. haha, my DL (what's his name? oops..)etc etc. the WAM ppl. (including spencer, Sarah, USM ppl
Worship Seminar – Sonic Edge, Power of a New Song!Like many weeks ago, suddenly my shepherd told me of a worship seminar which I told her about some time ago (which I couldn’t go). I thot, huh.. are you sure? Which one? Got meh? .. haha. In the end found out it’s actually a repeat seminar organised by Campus Crusade Media due to overwhelming response, and the Seminar was ‘ A Refreshing Approach to Worship’ by Robert Brenner of Integrity Music Label Group.
Oh course I went man!! That was so happen the only week I was free from Hope Sem class (because it was a study week/break before the exams the week after! Didn’t realize..)
Of course God is good.. haha. I end up messaging many many people about it and asked if they wanna register to go, as I called up the organizer and they asked me to fax in registration.
In the end Shirley signed up through me. Others like Benaiah, Rachel has already signed up long time.
I was so thrilled. Initially Shirley said someone is going. I was then like overjoyed and bewildering my 2 colleagues who probably think I went crazy suddenly laughing and smiling to myself!
In the end both Shirley and the person didn’t come also. But dear Sijia came in Shirley’s place. Had a great time of Praise & worship sessions. We had time to sing worship songs to God every available slot before, between, after every breaks between the 2 topics of seminar and tea break! Wahh.. that was really great.
But the thing that made the whole seminar great was the Sonic Edge band!!
They were really making great music with their instruments. All guys, only 1 girl back-up singer among the whole worship team!
But it was the worship leader who was pretty cool and amazing.. I was initially amazed when he played the lead guitar and while singing lead.. wah..
In between trying to appreciate the music and admire the team & worship leader (quite good looking also from far), I thought and say to myself ‘Thank God the lyric projection screens are not right behind the band, they were up high to the left and right of the stage. Yeah.. really thank God, if not would have a hard time worshipping my God looking at the lyric of new songs with the band in view, trying not to admire or pay attention to them when I’m worshipping my God.
The topics were ‘Biblical Worship (something like that.. and something what Hope Sem had earlier on ‘Worship from Genesis to Revelation’ which I couldn’t take also)
And Power of A New Song!
The teaching on Power of a New song really gave me a new freedom and new understanding of the truth of singing a new song to God. Every other worship sessions I in church has been doing that, which is the ‘free worship’ part.. where you sing a new song (anything,, from your heart to God) or sing in the ‘spirit’ or tongues. Hmm.. think I’ll share this in my CG blog.
Anyway, the new understanding that I captured is that singing a new song is about expressing your joy, thanks giving after God has touched you or you has touched or meet God in worship in the songs before! That was really amazing. Previously, during free worship sessions, I would sometimes, or most of the times, just sing some tunes with whatever came to my mind. Think I was more of singing a new song for the sake of singing a new song.
But now I understand and experience the joy and power of expressing to God in a fresh way because of what He has done..
There are many other things I learnt or am reminded about worship.. like we were created to worship God, we will be worshipping God in heaven, worship is an obedient response to God.. worship.. a life (lifestyle) that’s lived as pleasing, honouring and glorifying unto God..and about leading people to meet God..
Need to go back to my notes for better description =P. Forgot many other things.. but this is roughly what I captured.
Yeah.. that's the Faith Methodist church venue which they used. cool. can see the Sonic edge lead worshipper on stage?
btw, saw many others there too, like VIVIEN.. haha, my DL (what's his name? oops..)etc etc. the WAM ppl. (including spencer, Sarah, USM ppl
Monday, October 17, 2005
Choices choices.
think i'm always tested with these.
sometimes it gets tougher when you have to weight it between good stuff and good stuff. (clashes clashes..)
it's easy to strike off stuff previously.. think what i need to learn and continue to learn is balance.. time and again i'm tested. last time with greater dilemma.. now with unbelievable 'horror'.. what?? arghh.. how come.. and i'll just cry out to God first. Last time i would end up asking my Shepherd how ah?
and from my Hope Sem classes, Yin San shared on how we should go and seek's the Holy Spirit's guidance or leading.. choosing which is better or more beneficial of what God would want us to do.. instead of my own usually selfish and illogical desires..
sigh. clashes this week:
Tues: My M'sian fren's dinner gathering, BLM (Business Life Ministry) meet
(initially Jakarta short-term Missions team meet- shifted to Thurs now! :)
Wed: movie
Thurs: Mission meet
yeah.. only clashes on Tue now
my other 'dilemma' is from 3-4th Nov.
haven't seek God fully or prayed thru yet.
3 Nov : Paradise Worship seminar which i was 'scheming' to take leave from Hope Sem to attend..but quite impossible or unlikely.
3-5 Nov: Hope Sem Life & Teaching of Christ which I registered and payed up early to go. ALready took leave for the 4th nov!
suddenly last Sunday found out that
5 Nov: Unit Sport Superstar event!!! what..
funny.. before that i was telling God i want or hope to attend the Worship seminar leh.. but have Hope Sem which i commited and hope to finish also.. how?
then suddenly came the SPort superstar which I know i should and want to be there also (for impact and serving purpose.. if fun alone i'll forsake already)
then hehe. then perhaps i should cancel my Hope Sem and then I can go for the worship seminar!! muahaha.
hai but then.. don't want to wait another 2 year for the course to repeat to do it..
it's a matter of long-term and short-term goals and priorities.. haven't thought through or weight it out yet.
But i think God is good. SOmetimes, things just shift around and sort itself out. I've experienced it. don't need to tear my head or be in a dilemma so much.
see which to sacrifice now!!
ahh.. i'm a greedy person. want to do so many things
training training.. (for future)
---------
another thing that puzzle me.
James showed or keep asking me about the book "Choosing God's Best' or something like that. book on BGR relationshiplah.
not sure what he's hinting at. looked at the content. nothing strike or seems that presently relevant to me leh.. at least from that book. The fonts of the title is difficult to read!!
hehhehe. input welcomed!
think i'm always tested with these.
sometimes it gets tougher when you have to weight it between good stuff and good stuff. (clashes clashes..)
it's easy to strike off stuff previously.. think what i need to learn and continue to learn is balance.. time and again i'm tested. last time with greater dilemma.. now with unbelievable 'horror'.. what?? arghh.. how come.. and i'll just cry out to God first. Last time i would end up asking my Shepherd how ah?
and from my Hope Sem classes, Yin San shared on how we should go and seek's the Holy Spirit's guidance or leading.. choosing which is better or more beneficial of what God would want us to do.. instead of my own usually selfish and illogical desires..
sigh. clashes this week:
Tues: My M'sian fren's dinner gathering, BLM (Business Life Ministry) meet
(initially Jakarta short-term Missions team meet- shifted to Thurs now! :)
Wed: movie
Thurs: Mission meet
yeah.. only clashes on Tue now
my other 'dilemma' is from 3-4th Nov.
haven't seek God fully or prayed thru yet.
3 Nov : Paradise Worship seminar which i was 'scheming' to take leave from Hope Sem to attend..but quite impossible or unlikely.
3-5 Nov: Hope Sem Life & Teaching of Christ which I registered and payed up early to go. ALready took leave for the 4th nov!
suddenly last Sunday found out that
5 Nov: Unit Sport Superstar event!!! what..
funny.. before that i was telling God i want or hope to attend the Worship seminar leh.. but have Hope Sem which i commited and hope to finish also.. how?
then suddenly came the SPort superstar which I know i should and want to be there also (for impact and serving purpose.. if fun alone i'll forsake already)
then hehe. then perhaps i should cancel my Hope Sem and then I can go for the worship seminar!! muahaha.
hai but then.. don't want to wait another 2 year for the course to repeat to do it..
it's a matter of long-term and short-term goals and priorities.. haven't thought through or weight it out yet.
But i think God is good. SOmetimes, things just shift around and sort itself out. I've experienced it. don't need to tear my head or be in a dilemma so much.
see which to sacrifice now!!
ahh.. i'm a greedy person. want to do so many things
training training.. (for future)
---------
another thing that puzzle me.
James showed or keep asking me about the book "Choosing God's Best' or something like that. book on BGR relationshiplah.
not sure what he's hinting at. looked at the content. nothing strike or seems that presently relevant to me leh.. at least from that book. The fonts of the title is difficult to read!!
hehhehe. input welcomed!
Friday, October 14, 2005
crazy.. still stuck in office. for real. last time at least i was doing my own thing. just finished processing the CRF (Case Report Forms) to send to the client Data management in japan. Have to do lots of zapping after the tracking, and had to be real careful also.
and now am still waiting for the TNT courier guy to appear, and he's no where in sign..
tired tired/sleepy. have an assignment (pastoral counseling) to write..:'(. and i've no printer ink cartridge to print my assignment. wanted to buy at popular but by now it'll be closed..
----
'GOd, thank you for teaching me or letting me experience you closely when i'm in need of communion and fellowship, someone to encourage me when i'm bored and 'alone'..to know that you're the one who fulfills me and i can rest in contentment..the quiet presence and comfort of your Holy Spirit..Thank you Lord'
------
i'm talking bout emotional attachment.. today at work, had lots to do, but inside me..i was subtlely seeking and longing for human attention and care from ppl, like perhaps some sms from leaders or 'special' ppl. something that can make me smile and be happy for awhile, like distractions and something exciting that could inspire me..
and i realize what i was doing or seeking. Instead I believe God want to let me experience how it feels to be in that state.. and instead how i should and can rely on and seek His presence and fellowship instead.
TO learn this.
someday or if i'm church planting far far away,i could be in that situation. (Even daily life here) i shouldn't be seeking human comfort alone but God..
the courier person still has not come and they haven't got back to me.. tsk tsk..
'God i need your strenght and wisdom to do my assignment tonite as well..'
and now am still waiting for the TNT courier guy to appear, and he's no where in sign..
tired tired/sleepy. have an assignment (pastoral counseling) to write..:'(. and i've no printer ink cartridge to print my assignment. wanted to buy at popular but by now it'll be closed..
----
'GOd, thank you for teaching me or letting me experience you closely when i'm in need of communion and fellowship, someone to encourage me when i'm bored and 'alone'..to know that you're the one who fulfills me and i can rest in contentment..the quiet presence and comfort of your Holy Spirit..Thank you Lord'
------
i'm talking bout emotional attachment.. today at work, had lots to do, but inside me..i was subtlely seeking and longing for human attention and care from ppl, like perhaps some sms from leaders or 'special' ppl. something that can make me smile and be happy for awhile, like distractions and something exciting that could inspire me..
and i realize what i was doing or seeking. Instead I believe God want to let me experience how it feels to be in that state.. and instead how i should and can rely on and seek His presence and fellowship instead.
TO learn this.
someday or if i'm church planting far far away,i could be in that situation. (Even daily life here) i shouldn't be seeking human comfort alone but God..
the courier person still has not come and they haven't got back to me.. tsk tsk..
'God i need your strenght and wisdom to do my assignment tonite as well..'
Thursday, October 13, 2005
"Event meeting no. 3"!
(Chukai call it Pig-OUT!, plus Disembark.. really funny...tis bro really have the gift! of wittiness/humour..)haha
to mark the end of Get Onboard and Plug-IN.
I call it Plug-Out.
Nice closing..i say (thanks James & Vivien!!) to the end of the TOD (Tertiary Outreach Drive event)
had a dinner tog of thanksgiving, appreciation and affirmation.
this was 2 weeks ago, 2 Oct ;P
(Chukai call it Pig-OUT!, plus Disembark.. really funny...tis bro really have the gift! of wittiness/humour..)haha
to mark the end of Get Onboard and Plug-IN.
I call it Plug-Out.
Nice closing..i say (thanks James & Vivien!!) to the end of the TOD (Tertiary Outreach Drive event)
had a dinner tog of thanksgiving, appreciation and affirmation.
this was 2 weeks ago, 2 Oct ;P
Generation
"Oh GOd let us be
A Generation that Seeks,
that seeks Your face
Oh God of Jacob"..
The song that I kept singing yesterday..
dunno why. On Sunday sang it in church.
'A generation that seeks your face' caught me..
Prayed for this generation will be one that seek God..
reminded of how the many generations after generation in the OT forsake, forget, rebel against God.. but yet He was merciful, and restored them every time they humbled themselves and seek God again..
What bout our generation today? after Jesus has died on the cross for the sin that ALL can go back to Him (no more Jews or Gentiles.. but forgiveness or sins are for all now..)
How the world is still far from Him and ignore His call or great love?
Oh God forgives us and draw us to You. Let the Church continue to seek Your face..God forgive us.. this generation
still remember vividly this theme song for EARC (East Asian REgional Confenrence) 2003 - The Malaysian COnference by Colin Pal. wonderful song i would want to sing and remember..
Chorus:
Though we're broken
a broken generation
But we're chosen
a chosen generation
Let us fight,
with all our might,
Let us run with joy
for the glory set before us
Let us fight,
with all our might,
Let us run with joy
for the glory set before us
Ending:
We are chosen...
"Oh GOd let us be
A Generation that Seeks,
that seeks Your face
Oh God of Jacob"..
The song that I kept singing yesterday..
dunno why. On Sunday sang it in church.
'A generation that seeks your face' caught me..
Prayed for this generation will be one that seek God..
reminded of how the many generations after generation in the OT forsake, forget, rebel against God.. but yet He was merciful, and restored them every time they humbled themselves and seek God again..
What bout our generation today? after Jesus has died on the cross for the sin that ALL can go back to Him (no more Jews or Gentiles.. but forgiveness or sins are for all now..)
How the world is still far from Him and ignore His call or great love?
Oh God forgives us and draw us to You. Let the Church continue to seek Your face..God forgive us.. this generation
still remember vividly this theme song for EARC (East Asian REgional Confenrence) 2003 - The Malaysian COnference by Colin Pal. wonderful song i would want to sing and remember..
Chorus:
Though we're broken
a broken generation
But we're chosen
a chosen generation
Let us fight,
with all our might,
Let us run with joy
for the glory set before us
Let us fight,
with all our might,
Let us run with joy
for the glory set before us
Ending:
We are chosen...
Monday, October 10, 2005
Bumping into him.. (>half Written last Wed)
hai, i've still no idea where's the title column. don't see it in my blog space leh.
Nvm.
Sunday 2 OCt:
Normal Sunday, and finally or very excitedly, that hmm.. i am attending a Team Rally meet..haven't or have not served at leadership level yet before this..
Well, James invited me to the meet, to 'look see look see' or.. okloh.
though Andrew told me the other day to keep my Sunday lunch free. didn't know for what or didn't catch him properly.. it thot maybe incase he has visitors- to help look after..yeah, that was fine. coz if all leaders away.. who to take care of the people leh..
no visitors, but guess everyone could take care of themselves well.. have Jeremy also.
Anyway, so I went to the COMBINED TEam Rally meet for the first time..
My reason to want to go (Even though i'm not core team yet, or officially so) is to find out what the direction and vision and goals Ps Ben or the church has set out.. so i can like know what I could do also inline with that, and not have my own agendas and goals..
the reason I highlighted 'COMBINED' was that I didn't realize it's a combined meet! meaning the whole church including the Tertiary, youth, Filipino, Mandarin congregation..
haha. Stupid me. I first saw (or they called me) Shirley and dear Sijia at S11's table and happily and excitedly went over to them and half hugged them..
and then at the other end of the table saw..ehm..**
for me i just talked (hopefully not TOO loudly) because of my normal excitement seeing my dear sisters and ppl from Uni..
then walked off and towards Starhub for lunch with CG. hai.. rite after walking off the table my heart was like screaming loudly!! William was with me.. hai.. so wanted to share my exhilaration to someone but nobody I could share to.. only God loh...
so sad.
Then I realized, today’s a COMBINED team rally, that’s why they were here today!!
Hahaha.. got more happy and excited. (coz later he’ll be in there also..)
Going in to Nexus for team rally & the P&W has already begun. Was quite excited actually (of attending team rally) but tried to contain myself more and to think & act natural and neutral..
P&W was great. Gwendolyn, the Youth sister that many people who don’t know me well would mistake for me sometimes (due to facial and physical resemblance..) was leading P&W. and she was great in leading.
Then later, to my surprise (but not surpising), ** appeared on stage..usually I would be quite excited and beam widely. Then later calm down.
My first few thoughts was, hmm.. think I should I just call him my ‘idol’ now (someone I admire or being a fan of).. so that it would just be a normal kind of thing.
Nvm. Then to my horror or bewilderment (almost or did freeze in my seat for a while or a frozen look if anyone saw me then..) when suddenly later on he appeared & plonked into the seat exactly right across the passageway. What divine ‘co-ordination’. Or what I could think of..
Hai.. I just act bochap and stay cool lah through out.
(Side track..)
Was inspired at the testimonies of Christie & especially bro/Ps James Lim (fr Mandarin). His stories are always so real and amazing.. of how God works through him and with Him. (He was one of my Hope Sem instructor which inspire me much.. His life testimonies and enthusiasm and zealousness for God). I was telling Shireen that He has the gift of healing, evax.. etc. and what I remembered from his sharings was, we need to exercise it or use the gift when we’ve prayed and ask God for it..
His enthusiasm in running CGs last time when he was CL also amazed me. But it only caught on me when I struggled with thoughts that I would have a hard time or struggle with planning for CGs weekly when I serve as CL..(or even core team?) but I was reminded of his spirit.. and I kind of am inspired and motivated by it. And in turn am more positive towards running CGs. Praise the Lord.
Nevertheless, jotted some notes from Ps Ben about next Quarter’s direction..
Ohya, saw Mich went down to be prayed and anointed for – in her new role as CL!! Wah, Praise the Lord (a dear Uni Matric baby- my first, together with my dear ex-shepherd Daisy). God is great- with a wavering faith, can’t feel or experience God, she has now grown and mature in her faith and growing in her relationship with God.
The vision that God gave me of her leading in a SubD setting (during the first few months when she wasn’t stable in her walk with God and in fellowship) came to pass during my last SubD in NUS, and she’s now serving leadership role. Need to continue pray for her.
Then everything ended..
Was also thinking bout from the ‘holding on’ part which Andrew wrote in his blog.
Regarding this person, I’ve actually ‘let go’ sometime back.. (that explains the down grading to ‘idol’ or being fan of part.) But I would rather have it as admiring than anything else. Don’t like the idea and don’t want to have any idol or ‘idols’ before my God. The teaching after that week or was it the song we sang after that week was bout.. laying down my idols (Lord I will bow to you.. to the Word of truth…. …. To you alone). Don’t want anything that will distract me from my relationship with God and doing His will. Though I can imagine or remember what Han Hui usually would say “It’s not exclusively either-or” (something ard that line)
Although there were times where I’ll be caught reminiscing or dwelling (thank God rarely now) of the past possibility that God showed me through a sign that I asked for when I was way younger on whether he’s the right one (anxious, impatient-me), at church camp somemore! And God really showed me something you see! But thank God I was taught to understand and follow God’s general will first and not hold on
to anything (coz usually He doesn’t reveal anything specific if it’s not time yet, but of course He does if He has a purpose. And one possibility is that it doesn’t come from God). Well thank God for Accountability for through it, I am protected and guided to know God’s way and God’s will! ? Thanks to my shepherd as well haha, who guided me and taught me lessons on BGR back then even when she doesn’t have personal experience on such things. Such is the power of WOG! ++
TESTIMONY
Actually, God is great! Recently, there’s this Relationship Seminar in the adults. I thought it’ll be good to attend to learn more concerning relationship..as what I’ve learnt last time wasn’t enough I feel as sometimes I am still at lost or confuse of God’s way or principles that will guide me through my life). I had a desire in my heart to attend especially the second one (from Friendship to Courtship). Coz it’s quite interesting and relevant - for most ppl at this life station. However, my dear CL didn’t extend invitation to sign-up (he forgot as I’ve found out..) Hehe.. but nothing can stop God’s plan. It’s quite expensive also for the 3 sessions and I was quite ‘broke’/out of budget. And after the registration dateline, I called Lyi lyi and asked if I could register. And the response was negative - and advised me to borrow notes from my shepherd or others. Then ok lor.. good also as I didn’t really have the time for the 1st session, and the rest would kind of like clash half of it with my Hope Sem class.
But to my delight (And amazement – after everything was over), many weeks later, there was a sudden call for people who’s still interested to attend the remaining 2nd and 3rd part of the seminar. I found out I could only the 2nd and Shireen could attend the 3rd!! haha.. and so happily we signed up- (without dinner option)- and we’ll split the cost. (coz once yo sign up you’ll have to pay the full allocated fee – though cheaper than the initial registration fee).
A few weeks back, James messaged me to pay for the relationship seminar fee that I’ve attended. And it was only $3!! (compared to it I think $45 – If I signed-up earlier!)
Wow.. God is good. If He thinks what’s good or necessary for you.. He’ll give it to you.. ?
Now, I’ve been trying to learn to relate healthily to him and other people as well.. (As if I know him that well..not really actually).
-I can be really long winded.. haha. (more stories to come if any! – actually my own thoughts, reflection & recollection of things..)--------------------
-Let those who bother bother, let those who come and see, see...
(haha, my version of: ‘He who has ear to hear, let him hear’ (one in Luke 8:8b)- Jesus’s words.). for this particular story.
hai, i've still no idea where's the title column. don't see it in my blog space leh.
Nvm.
Sunday 2 OCt:
Normal Sunday, and finally or very excitedly, that hmm.. i am attending a Team Rally meet..haven't or have not served at leadership level yet before this..
Well, James invited me to the meet, to 'look see look see' or.. okloh.
though Andrew told me the other day to keep my Sunday lunch free. didn't know for what or didn't catch him properly.. it thot maybe incase he has visitors- to help look after..yeah, that was fine. coz if all leaders away.. who to take care of the people leh..
no visitors, but guess everyone could take care of themselves well.. have Jeremy also.
Anyway, so I went to the COMBINED TEam Rally meet for the first time..
My reason to want to go (Even though i'm not core team yet, or officially so) is to find out what the direction and vision and goals Ps Ben or the church has set out.. so i can like know what I could do also inline with that, and not have my own agendas and goals..
the reason I highlighted 'COMBINED' was that I didn't realize it's a combined meet! meaning the whole church including the Tertiary, youth, Filipino, Mandarin congregation..
haha. Stupid me. I first saw (or they called me) Shirley and dear Sijia at S11's table and happily and excitedly went over to them and half hugged them..
and then at the other end of the table saw..ehm..**
for me i just talked (hopefully not TOO loudly) because of my normal excitement seeing my dear sisters and ppl from Uni..
then walked off and towards Starhub for lunch with CG. hai.. rite after walking off the table my heart was like screaming loudly!! William was with me.. hai.. so wanted to share my exhilaration to someone but nobody I could share to.. only God loh...
so sad.
Then I realized, today’s a COMBINED team rally, that’s why they were here today!!
Hahaha.. got more happy and excited. (coz later he’ll be in there also..)
Going in to Nexus for team rally & the P&W has already begun. Was quite excited actually (of attending team rally) but tried to contain myself more and to think & act natural and neutral..
P&W was great. Gwendolyn, the Youth sister that many people who don’t know me well would mistake for me sometimes (due to facial and physical resemblance..) was leading P&W. and she was great in leading.
Then later, to my surprise (but not surpising), ** appeared on stage..usually I would be quite excited and beam widely. Then later calm down.
My first few thoughts was, hmm.. think I should I just call him my ‘idol’ now (someone I admire or being a fan of).. so that it would just be a normal kind of thing.
Nvm. Then to my horror or bewilderment (almost or did freeze in my seat for a while or a frozen look if anyone saw me then..) when suddenly later on he appeared & plonked into the seat exactly right across the passageway. What divine ‘co-ordination’. Or what I could think of..
Hai.. I just act bochap and stay cool lah through out.
(Side track..)
Was inspired at the testimonies of Christie & especially bro/Ps James Lim (fr Mandarin). His stories are always so real and amazing.. of how God works through him and with Him. (He was one of my Hope Sem instructor which inspire me much.. His life testimonies and enthusiasm and zealousness for God). I was telling Shireen that He has the gift of healing, evax.. etc. and what I remembered from his sharings was, we need to exercise it or use the gift when we’ve prayed and ask God for it..
His enthusiasm in running CGs last time when he was CL also amazed me. But it only caught on me when I struggled with thoughts that I would have a hard time or struggle with planning for CGs weekly when I serve as CL..(or even core team?) but I was reminded of his spirit.. and I kind of am inspired and motivated by it. And in turn am more positive towards running CGs. Praise the Lord.
Nevertheless, jotted some notes from Ps Ben about next Quarter’s direction..
Ohya, saw Mich went down to be prayed and anointed for – in her new role as CL!! Wah, Praise the Lord (a dear Uni Matric baby- my first, together with my dear ex-shepherd Daisy). God is great- with a wavering faith, can’t feel or experience God, she has now grown and mature in her faith and growing in her relationship with God.
The vision that God gave me of her leading in a SubD setting (during the first few months when she wasn’t stable in her walk with God and in fellowship) came to pass during my last SubD in NUS, and she’s now serving leadership role. Need to continue pray for her.
Then everything ended..
Was also thinking bout from the ‘holding on’ part which Andrew wrote in his blog.
Regarding this person, I’ve actually ‘let go’ sometime back.. (that explains the down grading to ‘idol’ or being fan of part.) But I would rather have it as admiring than anything else. Don’t like the idea and don’t want to have any idol or ‘idols’ before my God. The teaching after that week or was it the song we sang after that week was bout.. laying down my idols (Lord I will bow to you.. to the Word of truth…. …. To you alone). Don’t want anything that will distract me from my relationship with God and doing His will. Though I can imagine or remember what Han Hui usually would say “It’s not exclusively either-or” (something ard that line)
Although there were times where I’ll be caught reminiscing or dwelling (thank God rarely now) of the past possibility that God showed me through a sign that I asked for when I was way younger on whether he’s the right one (anxious, impatient-me), at church camp somemore! And God really showed me something you see! But thank God I was taught to understand and follow God’s general will first and not hold on
to anything (coz usually He doesn’t reveal anything specific if it’s not time yet, but of course He does if He has a purpose. And one possibility is that it doesn’t come from God). Well thank God for Accountability for through it, I am protected and guided to know God’s way and God’s will! ? Thanks to my shepherd as well haha, who guided me and taught me lessons on BGR back then even when she doesn’t have personal experience on such things. Such is the power of WOG! ++
TESTIMONY
Actually, God is great! Recently, there’s this Relationship Seminar in the adults. I thought it’ll be good to attend to learn more concerning relationship..as what I’ve learnt last time wasn’t enough I feel as sometimes I am still at lost or confuse of God’s way or principles that will guide me through my life). I had a desire in my heart to attend especially the second one (from Friendship to Courtship). Coz it’s quite interesting and relevant - for most ppl at this life station. However, my dear CL didn’t extend invitation to sign-up (he forgot as I’ve found out..) Hehe.. but nothing can stop God’s plan. It’s quite expensive also for the 3 sessions and I was quite ‘broke’/out of budget. And after the registration dateline, I called Lyi lyi and asked if I could register. And the response was negative - and advised me to borrow notes from my shepherd or others. Then ok lor.. good also as I didn’t really have the time for the 1st session, and the rest would kind of like clash half of it with my Hope Sem class.
But to my delight (And amazement – after everything was over), many weeks later, there was a sudden call for people who’s still interested to attend the remaining 2nd and 3rd part of the seminar. I found out I could only the 2nd and Shireen could attend the 3rd!! haha.. and so happily we signed up- (without dinner option)- and we’ll split the cost. (coz once yo sign up you’ll have to pay the full allocated fee – though cheaper than the initial registration fee).
A few weeks back, James messaged me to pay for the relationship seminar fee that I’ve attended. And it was only $3!! (compared to it I think $45 – If I signed-up earlier!)
Wow.. God is good. If He thinks what’s good or necessary for you.. He’ll give it to you.. ?
Now, I’ve been trying to learn to relate healthily to him and other people as well.. (As if I know him that well..not really actually).
-I can be really long winded.. haha. (more stories to come if any! – actually my own thoughts, reflection & recollection of things..)--------------------
-Let those who bother bother, let those who come and see, see...
(haha, my version of: ‘He who has ear to hear, let him hear’ (one in Luke 8:8b)- Jesus’s words.). for this particular story.
SWEAT IT OUT! - SUbD Family DAy
Nicholas's dog.
very funny,
funny to read the blog you half wrote last week and continue to want to write it out or post.. SO many things happen throughout the week also..or learnings from God & ppl.
btw, pic of the Family day! for rememberance..
the last pic, what!! KS on the tree!! since when..
photos courtesy of..(aiks.. i don't know.. din ask for permission also. Angela i reckon)
Nicholas's dog.
very funny,
funny to read the blog you half wrote last week and continue to want to write it out or post.. SO many things happen throughout the week also..or learnings from God & ppl.
btw, pic of the Family day! for rememberance..
the last pic, what!! KS on the tree!! since when..
photos courtesy of..(aiks.. i don't know.. din ask for permission also. Angela i reckon)
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Blogging once a week - If I find the time to use the comp at nite at work.
Many thoughts I thought of that i wanted to blog. Not sure if my brain’s short term memory is able to retrieve or even store properly..
aiks, think it goes the same on how i have been recently or all along handling the WOG/Sunday sermon teachings. Have stopped doing my post-sermon/reflection after Sundays, though i tried to do.. but always, the other many things to do and sometimes 'sianness' cause me to do every other things than doing that. Gotta be more vigilant on myself!!
Arggh.. starting with last Sunday!! something that's screaming in my heart..
(hai, should entertain it too much, but i felt i gotta blog it out, dunno why.)
Let me back track a little first, else i get too carried away and hard to come back to Sat.
Saturday, 1 OCt: thank God and was an eventful day..
my Turbo grp’s project to organize the SubD Family DAy Games event has finally come and Praise the Lord and thank HIm for His faithfulness..
Can see that most ppl were having fun and also received feedback that they did enjoyed the games!!! phew.
REally glad they had a good time.. as that was part of the purpose of the event..
During the planning, not event sure it things would turn out rite and wasn’t sure of the outcome..
And the most incredible and awesome thing was.. phew.. GOd was great.. He answered our prayers.. and showed his favor and blessing for us to run this Family Day OUTDOOR!! (with a great weather, no sun, no rain!! - though it was bit hot & humid in the beginning)
i prayed for no rain (but asked the others also to pray for no sun, no rain - ideal), so that we could have a more fun time playing outdoor at the park than the indoor shopping game.. If it rains, although things could carry on, people's spirit will be more dampened and it would be less fun.
We checked the weather forecast, and Saturday (besides the most of whole week), it was supposed to rain in the afternoon. On Sat itself..when we were waiting for Qiqi who was quite late in reaching P.Ris, the weather was threatening to rain. And before Qiqi finally arrived it has already actually started to drizzle..(but there was also sun). Half of us hopped on to Qiqi's car to the Down town East. (I was saying, what- prayed for no sun, no rain- but God gave us Sun & rain!! – rainbow??) haha..
In our discussion and my heart, PLan B- Wet Weather PLan is to be executed if it really does rain heavily..but i submitted to God and also still prayed and hoped that it would not rain for the above reason.
and according to Lihong's testimony later during the prayer "the moment I step out of Qiqi's car, I don't even feel a drop of rain"..
Praise the Lord! we manage to proceed to the park and do the set-up!
And for programme timing control even though we started late, and all the uncertainties-- we actually ended on our latest planned time--~6.15pm!! so we could start dinner earlier..
It was a learning and good experience throughout.
Even if things didn't turn out well.. I believe I still have a lot to learn in the process of doing and organizing the event.. especially my attitudes, handling expectations, communication, humility in relating to others in my team.. especially my shepherd.. while working towards doing things excellently..
phew, long story.
Sunday: next blog
Many thoughts I thought of that i wanted to blog. Not sure if my brain’s short term memory is able to retrieve or even store properly..
aiks, think it goes the same on how i have been recently or all along handling the WOG/Sunday sermon teachings. Have stopped doing my post-sermon/reflection after Sundays, though i tried to do.. but always, the other many things to do and sometimes 'sianness' cause me to do every other things than doing that. Gotta be more vigilant on myself!!
Arggh.. starting with last Sunday!! something that's screaming in my heart..
(hai, should entertain it too much, but i felt i gotta blog it out, dunno why.)
Let me back track a little first, else i get too carried away and hard to come back to Sat.
Saturday, 1 OCt: thank God and was an eventful day..
my Turbo grp’s project to organize the SubD Family DAy Games event has finally come and Praise the Lord and thank HIm for His faithfulness..
Can see that most ppl were having fun and also received feedback that they did enjoyed the games!!! phew.
REally glad they had a good time.. as that was part of the purpose of the event..
During the planning, not event sure it things would turn out rite and wasn’t sure of the outcome..
And the most incredible and awesome thing was.. phew.. GOd was great.. He answered our prayers.. and showed his favor and blessing for us to run this Family Day OUTDOOR!! (with a great weather, no sun, no rain!! - though it was bit hot & humid in the beginning)
i prayed for no rain (but asked the others also to pray for no sun, no rain - ideal), so that we could have a more fun time playing outdoor at the park than the indoor shopping game.. If it rains, although things could carry on, people's spirit will be more dampened and it would be less fun.
We checked the weather forecast, and Saturday (besides the most of whole week), it was supposed to rain in the afternoon. On Sat itself..when we were waiting for Qiqi who was quite late in reaching P.Ris, the weather was threatening to rain. And before Qiqi finally arrived it has already actually started to drizzle..(but there was also sun). Half of us hopped on to Qiqi's car to the Down town East. (I was saying, what- prayed for no sun, no rain- but God gave us Sun & rain!! – rainbow??) haha..
In our discussion and my heart, PLan B- Wet Weather PLan is to be executed if it really does rain heavily..but i submitted to God and also still prayed and hoped that it would not rain for the above reason.
and according to Lihong's testimony later during the prayer "the moment I step out of Qiqi's car, I don't even feel a drop of rain"..
Praise the Lord! we manage to proceed to the park and do the set-up!
And for programme timing control even though we started late, and all the uncertainties-- we actually ended on our latest planned time--~6.15pm!! so we could start dinner earlier..
It was a learning and good experience throughout.
Even if things didn't turn out well.. I believe I still have a lot to learn in the process of doing and organizing the event.. especially my attitudes, handling expectations, communication, humility in relating to others in my team.. especially my shepherd.. while working towards doing things excellently..
phew, long story.
Sunday: next blog
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Just ate 2 pieces of wierd Korean Cake earlier, for dinner..
Expiring soon (1st Oct) so had to eat them up. Given or sent by a Korean collegue back in July?? Put in a very nice light pastel purple color bag which I'm using to put my Samsung Mp3 player!!:)
just nice, ate an apple to for my dinner too. didn't plan for dinner..just as what God says He'll do..in providing my food. :)
not to mention my new Mp3 player which my bro ended up buying/paying for me. 1 GB some more!! muhahaa.. can store up to 200 plus songs!!
just great.. :) God is great!
Expiring soon (1st Oct) so had to eat them up. Given or sent by a Korean collegue back in July?? Put in a very nice light pastel purple color bag which I'm using to put my Samsung Mp3 player!!:)
just nice, ate an apple to for my dinner too. didn't plan for dinner..just as what God says He'll do..in providing my food. :)
not to mention my new Mp3 player which my bro ended up buying/paying for me. 1 GB some more!! muhahaa.. can store up to 200 plus songs!!
just great.. :) God is great!
That's TK's Birthday photo family shot!! (24th Sep- real B'day 25th Sep) what a great big family!! (spiritual/church family)Was away at the other table to brief the SubD Family day GAmes..missed huge portion of the celeb..hai..and this photo, didn't really bother to get my face seen though i know i'm being partially blocked.. especially the other photos..
;)
The CLC1 course which just ended 1 and half week ago. Nice class. Lots familiar faces and really felt that most/every lessons learnt lots of and new things. Most are skills and understanding of how, what and why things are being done.
Had ppl from my Turbo Grp,'NETS' ministry. Overall are nice bunch of ppl, fun and funny..and lively! especially a particular discussion grps that i was with. They were from the same SubD. haha- Ah Long's niece (found out that he was from GBS!!! haha unbelievable. Michael Radithya's bro, Agung was also there. Only heard his name when Michael shares stories/testimonies involving his family. and a couple of girls which i never remember their names (becoz it's a chinese name :()
Also, there's something about ULs (Unit Leaders) that I thot off..most of them which I encounter through these classes.. There's somehting similar or striking, or and aura that I felt about this people. Can see that they are ordinary or have an ordinary or even supposedly inferior backgrd or being..but there is this maturity, stableness that is present.. in the way they speak, teach and relate.. just amazing..(God is their confidence and they have a sense of purpose, knowledge, humility and understanding.. and how things are around them)
cool yeah?
Monday, September 26, 2005
Armor Bearer..
in CLC class last Monday, the last class.. 2 things struck me or inspired me..
1) hey, I want to feed and teach my sheep!! see them growing in the Lord with His Word.. after hearing how the others had sheeps where they can sit down and give teachings.. i was thinking.. ai.. Shopping everytime won't cause the sheep to grow. (but that was not true or the right thinking.. because it's a different stage now. and that's just an ideal case which we'll grow into, and there are many other avenues which we learn and grow..)
But unfortunately, due to my impatience..and lack of understanding.. my actions let to not being sensitive enough to the person..and led to a little conflict and strain in the relationship. this time i can only, sigh.. and shake head, laugh at myself and situation (though not funny..) and learn from my little blunder..But I believe God will make things right and I thank Him for letting me learn through these circumstances..
2) I want to be a good armor Bearer to my CL.. whoever my CL is..
(hmm.. yeah, it should start now..)
and the Saturday came in Turbo Group, was taught about being Armor Bearer..
nice to come to the point where your heart is ready and has the desire to commit, and the teaching came..
in CLC class last Monday, the last class.. 2 things struck me or inspired me..
1) hey, I want to feed and teach my sheep!! see them growing in the Lord with His Word.. after hearing how the others had sheeps where they can sit down and give teachings.. i was thinking.. ai.. Shopping everytime won't cause the sheep to grow. (but that was not true or the right thinking.. because it's a different stage now. and that's just an ideal case which we'll grow into, and there are many other avenues which we learn and grow..)
But unfortunately, due to my impatience..and lack of understanding.. my actions let to not being sensitive enough to the person..and led to a little conflict and strain in the relationship. this time i can only, sigh.. and shake head, laugh at myself and situation (though not funny..) and learn from my little blunder..But I believe God will make things right and I thank Him for letting me learn through these circumstances..
2) I want to be a good armor Bearer to my CL.. whoever my CL is..
(hmm.. yeah, it should start now..)
and the Saturday came in Turbo Group, was taught about being Armor Bearer..
nice to come to the point where your heart is ready and has the desire to commit, and the teaching came..
Facing reality and bad situations
It's really difficult to blog with no ready internet access at home, or time to do it after work. hehe.
anyway, my one week plus ago had been..interesting..up and down situations, seeing myself going through the same external pressures and problems that i went through not too long ago. Work haywire (boss chasing after you to clarify wrong time billing calculation, relationship with sheep didn't go smooth (conflicted) and event (SubD Family Day games) responsibilities coming down..
Phew, was seeing these things coming down my way, and was asking myself what God wants me to grow in or respond differently this time?
The usual thing that i've used to do or think is to trust and continue to rely on Him in all that I have to do..
But there was something more difficult for me to do this time, and I realize God wants me to deal with facing difficult situations.. I didn't and don't like unpleasant situations and will tend to avoid it, if i can. But this time, whatever mistakes, bad situation i had to face, through my work-- i realize i had to do it still. I realize I have the fear of making the same mistakes and will avoid doing things because of the hurt and pain/unpleasantness that comes from it..
For example leading worship, serving.. I'll only do it again perhaps after a long long time,when i have no choice, or when i have gained more self- confidence that comes from safety of experience and assurance that things will work out or knowing I could more or less do it without failing..
There are many unpleasant family situations at home too that I hated and or don't like, and try to avoid by all means. That's why for the past few years, I am relieved and happy being away from home and free from confronting the troubles..But they'll still come and find or haunt me and sometimes i can't avoid..
Through the little experience at work where I have to continue tabulating the TAS despite of fear of having overlooking figures, being careless or making mistakes again.. i am force to do it and face it no matter what. And i thank God for this opportunity to realize and to grow in this area..
this time round.. i feel that i am stronger to face the coming problems, pressures and circumstances that comes my way..when things don't go right..
this time, things went right again.. coz God is good and because I trusted in Him.
Praise the Lord oh my soul!!
It's really difficult to blog with no ready internet access at home, or time to do it after work. hehe.
anyway, my one week plus ago had been..interesting..up and down situations, seeing myself going through the same external pressures and problems that i went through not too long ago. Work haywire (boss chasing after you to clarify wrong time billing calculation, relationship with sheep didn't go smooth (conflicted) and event (SubD Family Day games) responsibilities coming down..
Phew, was seeing these things coming down my way, and was asking myself what God wants me to grow in or respond differently this time?
The usual thing that i've used to do or think is to trust and continue to rely on Him in all that I have to do..
But there was something more difficult for me to do this time, and I realize God wants me to deal with facing difficult situations.. I didn't and don't like unpleasant situations and will tend to avoid it, if i can. But this time, whatever mistakes, bad situation i had to face, through my work-- i realize i had to do it still. I realize I have the fear of making the same mistakes and will avoid doing things because of the hurt and pain/unpleasantness that comes from it..
For example leading worship, serving.. I'll only do it again perhaps after a long long time,when i have no choice, or when i have gained more self- confidence that comes from safety of experience and assurance that things will work out or knowing I could more or less do it without failing..
There are many unpleasant family situations at home too that I hated and or don't like, and try to avoid by all means. That's why for the past few years, I am relieved and happy being away from home and free from confronting the troubles..But they'll still come and find or haunt me and sometimes i can't avoid..
Through the little experience at work where I have to continue tabulating the TAS despite of fear of having overlooking figures, being careless or making mistakes again.. i am force to do it and face it no matter what. And i thank God for this opportunity to realize and to grow in this area..
this time round.. i feel that i am stronger to face the coming problems, pressures and circumstances that comes my way..when things don't go right..
this time, things went right again.. coz God is good and because I trusted in Him.
Praise the Lord oh my soul!!
Friday, September 16, 2005
CG, Need for Self Check & reflection
On CG yesterday, we learnt bout serving, in humility. One interesting thing that James got us to do, he got 2 volunteers, Jeremy & Gavin to illustrate:
1) We sitting in the centre of our live on the throne.. but when Christ came in, is He now sitting on the throne of my life? and me bowing to Him?
something i need to reflect on.. as i find myself recently..slacking, not as fervent.. sometimes seeking to please myself, rest & sleep when tired, don't feel like doing somethings.. running off early from the closing of the Team Hope/(Events Support) Appreciation & training Nite.. slow in making decision or less enthusiastic to make appointment to meet frens to SOW on..even wonder if i'm spiritually dry..
still checking myself..
the nice little quiet time of reading bible i had one morning i think early this week was refreshing/different.. feel closer to God after reading His word. It's really different if i don't do it. (Other days till now, i really didn't manage to get myself out of bed early or organised enough to have proper, unrushed, uninteruppted QT..)
Realised i have been relying alot on Praise & Worship songs to draw myself near to God and remember God's promises.. but i guess those are not enough and incomparable to the full verses and WOG in the bible!!
On CG yesterday, we learnt bout serving, in humility. One interesting thing that James got us to do, he got 2 volunteers, Jeremy & Gavin to illustrate:
1) We sitting in the centre of our live on the throne.. but when Christ came in, is He now sitting on the throne of my life? and me bowing to Him?
something i need to reflect on.. as i find myself recently..slacking, not as fervent.. sometimes seeking to please myself, rest & sleep when tired, don't feel like doing somethings.. running off early from the closing of the Team Hope/(Events Support) Appreciation & training Nite.. slow in making decision or less enthusiastic to make appointment to meet frens to SOW on..even wonder if i'm spiritually dry..
still checking myself..
the nice little quiet time of reading bible i had one morning i think early this week was refreshing/different.. feel closer to God after reading His word. It's really different if i don't do it. (Other days till now, i really didn't manage to get myself out of bed early or organised enough to have proper, unrushed, uninteruppted QT..)
Realised i have been relying alot on Praise & Worship songs to draw myself near to God and remember God's promises.. but i guess those are not enough and incomparable to the full verses and WOG in the bible!!
"May God continue to mature and equip you to fulfill the plan that He has for your life!"
what Michael Radithya wrote in his closing email in reply to mine for TH101 'The Christian faith' course.
that struck a cord in me.. giving me a sense of having a bird eye view and a sense of purpose of what i'm doing rite now..or should see myself heading towards..
also, recently, felt down and sian, and partially body feels tired--due to the short fever bout prolonged flu & cough i had (thank God it has almost recovered now!.
Feels like i have more time on my hand, but struggle to push myself to do more..
Flipped across this verse that reminded me.. Colossians 3:2-8
"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God..
Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature:... You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these:...."
(sigh, a portion of my blog got lost again..still not used to the settings!!)
what Michael Radithya wrote in his closing email in reply to mine for TH101 'The Christian faith' course.
that struck a cord in me.. giving me a sense of having a bird eye view and a sense of purpose of what i'm doing rite now..or should see myself heading towards..
also, recently, felt down and sian, and partially body feels tired--due to the short fever bout prolonged flu & cough i had (thank God it has almost recovered now!.
Feels like i have more time on my hand, but struggle to push myself to do more..
Flipped across this verse that reminded me.. Colossians 3:2-8
"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God..
Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature:... You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these:...."
(sigh, a portion of my blog got lost again..still not used to the settings!!)
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Friday, April 01, 2005
Casting Crowns- Who am I
Artist: Casting crowns
Song: Who am I lyrics
Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt,
Who am I?
That the Bright and Morning Star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart,
Not because of who I am,
But because of what You've done,
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are,
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean (ocean),
A vapor in the wind,
Still You hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling,
And You've told me who I am..
I am Yours.
Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin,
Would look on me with love,
and watch me rise again,
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me,
Not because of who I am,
But because of what You've done,
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are,
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean (ocean),
A vapor in the wind,
Still You hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling,
And You've told me who I am...
I am Yours, I am Yours.
I am Yours,
Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
'Cause I am Yours,
I am Yours.
Artist: Casting crowns
Song: Who am I lyrics
Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt,
Who am I?
That the Bright and Morning Star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart,
Not because of who I am,
But because of what You've done,
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are,
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean (ocean),
A vapor in the wind,
Still You hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling,
And You've told me who I am..
I am Yours.
Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin,
Would look on me with love,
and watch me rise again,
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me,
Not because of who I am,
But because of what You've done,
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are,
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean (ocean),
A vapor in the wind,
Still You hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling,
And You've told me who I am...
I am Yours, I am Yours.
I am Yours,
Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
'Cause I am Yours,
I am Yours.
Sunday, March 20, 2005
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